Bonny Snowdon 00:06
Hello, I'm Bonny Snowdon, ex-corporate person, a mother turned successful artist-entrepreneur. It wasn't that long ago though that I lacked the confidence, vision and support network to focus on growing my dream business. Fast forward past many life curveballs, waves of self-doubt and so many lessons learned and you'll see Ignite, my thriving online colour pencil artists community, a community that changes members' lives for the better and gives me freedom to live abundantly whilst doing what I love and spending quality time with my beloved family and dogs, all whilst creating my best artwork with coloured pencils, and mentoring others to do the same. But this life wasn't always how it was for me, it used to only exist in my imagination. I've created the It's a Bonny Old Life podcast to help increase people's confidence, share mine and my communities experience and hope through fascinating personal stories, champion the other amazing humans in my personal, professional and membership community, and create another channel through which I can support others to realize their dreams. If you're a passionate colour pencil artist or an aspiring one who's looking to create their best work, and a joyful life you love, you're in the right place. Grab a cuppa and a custard cream, let's get cracking.
I've always struggled finding clothes that suited me especially now that I'm a larger size. Last year leafing through a magazine, I came across this lovely smiley lady who offered a styling consultancy. So, I felt really drawn to her and contacted her. I'm delighted that this week, my guest is Sarah Gray. She's helped me hugely with my wardrobe and although I still sway back to my comfy clothes, I know that I have some fabulous outfits when I need them. It's so nice to see you. How are you?
Sarah Gray 01:50
I notice that you're nervous, Bonny.
Bonny Snowdon 01:53
Well, why? What are you nervous about? Don't you dare.
Sarah Gray 01:58
I don't know. You talking about me, isn't it? It's like usually I'm talking about everyone else.
Bonny Snowdon 02:05
That seems. Yeah, that is interesting, isn't it? I think it's always a lot easier, isn't it?
Sarah Gray 02:11
Yeah. I mean, I'm excited. I'm very honoured. Very, very honoured, like the calibre of people you talk to is just so incredible and I love your podcasts. I listen to them all. Anyway, so yes, I'm very honoured. Thank you.
Bonny Snowdon 02:26
It's a pleasure. It's so nice to see you and you're wearing my colours. You're wearing orange and blue.
Sarah Gray 02:35
Obviously, that was planned.
Bonny Snowdon 02:40
Honestly, it's so, so nice to be with you and also to be chatting to you as well, not about me. I kind of found you through the Brand You Magazine.
Sarah Gray 02:56
That's right.
Bonny Snowdon 02:57
I think you had a whole page advert in there and I think, because I really struggle with clothes and because of my size I just really struggle with what suits me and everything. So, I saw that when I was kind of flicking through it and it wasn't anything that I ever thought, well, it hadn't even entered my brain until I saw the advert and I was like, oh my goodness, this woman looks so friendly and nice and you just looked like, just a normal person.
Sarah Gray 03:38
Yeah, I am a [inaudible] wacky bonkers, but normal.
Bonny Snowdon 03:44
I just thought, oh, my goodness, I think actually this might be something really and that's when I got in touch with you. So, I think it'd be really, really nice to talk about, obviously, what you do how you do it? Then I'd love to know a little bit more about you.
Sarah Gray 04:01
Yeah, sure.
Bonny Snowdon 04:03
So, off you go.
Sarah Gray 04:09
So, I mean, when people meet me now, they say, oh, you're so confident and you just stand out and all of this lovely stuff and it's not until we get to a conversation like you and I are having that I say to them, well it wasn't always that way. I have kind of learned to be that way and so my history is that I was a kid with a severe skin condition eczema top to toe. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want to stand out because I was standing out for reasons that I was judged. Well, I felt I was judged and I was different and so it was hard as a kid people pointing fingers just made me want to hide away. However, in the back of my head somewhere there was always this love of conflict because I was different and I stood out and I didn't want to, yet there was always this thing that I wanted to be different, but not in that way. I remember there's a photograph of when I was about five at a family wedding, and I was hiding behind my dad in this photograph, but my red shoes poked out, and things like that, yes, I wanted to be seen, but I didn't want to be seen because of how I looked. So, it's quite a conflict that was going on and that continued until I was 30 years old. So, once I was 30, I was very fortunate to have found a doctor who could really help me and did help me and now it's a whole different it's a different person. I feel like the real me now is on the outside versus she never was. She always didn't want to be seen. So, for me now to help give women back or find the confidence to show up is the most enjoyable, heartfelt, it's all those things that I just absolutely love it.
Bonny Snowdon 06:16
Oh, my goodness, you see, of course, I didn't know anything about that.
Sarah Gray 06:21
No, of course.
Bonny Snowdon 06:23
Because we don't. We don't talk about those things, that's quite a story.
Sarah Gray 06:28
Well, and I'm learning to tell that story now. Because long time ago, somebody said to me, your story is really powerful. You must tell it, but it's always emotional, isn't it, telling your own story? So, I had to get over the emotions and start with and actually be able to say with a smile and not tears, so now I'm really learning to use my story in a way that I don't want any all bless you all that. I want it to resonate with people and go she's been where I've been not, because the skin but just for whatever the reason is that you don't want to show up, or the fear of being judged or not accepted or not being cool, or all those things that we have got more of but all of my clients have some fear in that way that she gets it, she's been there and I know I can trust her and that's why I do what I do.
Bonny Snowdon 07:27
Wow, that is amazing. Well, how frustrating that they took that long to be able to find something to help, but how brilliant that it came along and now you're able to sort of, I guess, live your best life on the outside?
Sarah Gray 07:43
Totally. I mean, I don't think of it as a frustration in a funny way, I think of it as, I went through all of those things and I say that I feel gosh, I'm a fraud because it wasn't life or death, like some people deal with I always think gosh I am bigging up a story that isn't as big as some other. So, I have real sort of just that again, they start learning to accept your own story. But yes, everything I did and went through and worked in the corporate world and have that misfit of not fitting in, and all those, I needed to do all of that to be able to do what I do now. So, I really, really truly believe that doesn't matter what we do in life. There's a lesson every step of the way. So, I see it all as being sort of me collecting all my bits to then suddenly find myself doing this job. I mean, I've been doing it for 16 years, but it wasn't a plan.
Bonny Snowdon 08:43
I absolutely love that attitude and I think this is why even through a magazine, the I felt there was a connection and now listening to this and your backstory and everything, I'm exactly the same way and actually me saying, oh, gosh, that must have been a frustration, that's putting my feelings onto you. But actually, if I look at my backstory, everything was there to get me to where I am now. We can either take that attitude, or we can go down the way with me route and all of that kind of thing. But where does that then take us? So gosh, that's amazing. That's fantastic. What stuck out for me there is when you were hiding behind your dad, but your red shoes were poking out.
Sarah Gray 09:38
It's the most famous picture in our family.
Bonny Snowdon 09:43
But now when I look at you because I always look at you and I think gosh, she looks so just fabulous because you always wear lovely colours or shapes and I know you've really helped me with my sort of styling and we did the colour bits and pieces and everything, which I found really interesting. The thing I hated was where you made me take a photograph of myself and I was like, oh my god.
Sarah Gray 10:06
I just met this woman, and she wants me to do that.
Bonny Snowdon 10:13
But that has really helped me. But still, I wear sweater my usual comfy clothes. I mean, have you always had a passion for kind of styling or colour? What was it that got you into where you are now?
Sarah Gray 10:32
Yeah. So, when I think back, yes, I've always loved clothes, not fashion. I've never wanted it to be in the latest thing and I still don't. I'm all about well, certainly started with me being true to who you are. But the sort of catalyst to getting into my job was my two sisters. Actually, my older sister said to me, you should do the styling thing. So, at this point in my life, I was ready to really just walk away from corporate, I was moving from London to Limington Spa, where I am now in Warwickshire and I did not want to commute. So, I worked out my notice in London and then moved and for the first time, since I was about 13, I didn't have a job. So, it was like, my goodness, I am not working. But it was a time. I think I didn't work for two months and it was a time I could re-evaluate and my oldest sister said to me, you should do the styling thing and I said, what are you talking about? And she gave me her perception of me that was a million miles away from my perception of myself and it was things like we all come to you for advice on our clothes. You shop in shops, I've never heard of, to this day, I don't understand that one, because shop anywhere else in the high street, and then it was just a real sort of, it could have slapped me around the face with a wet fish. It was like, what? And so, I replayed that conversation to my younger sister who said, yeah, but don't you remember in school, everyone copied you? I said, no and she said, yeah, but in the sixth form, everyone copied your style. I said, no, we were just all wearing the same. She said, no, you started it. Again, I just could not get my head around this. But what it did was plant a little seed and I thought, okay, so maybe there's something in this. Didn't for a minute think I would still be doing it 16 years later, but I went and retrained and you think to yourself, put yourself through university. How hard can it be? It's one of the hardest things I ever did was retrain and so you do have a natural sort of passion for it but to be really good at it, I think you also need to know the rules, have a natural passion about it, but know how to break the rules as well and really, really know how to put someone's personality first and that's what I hope I do. It was just other people's perception of me that made me even consider it, didn't even really know it was a thing. I thought it was something that people had stylist for the telly. It was just bonkers but the best thing ever that I've done.
Bonny Snowdon 13:29
That's amazing. You know what, sisters are brilliant.
Sarah Gray 13:33
Yeah, aren't they?
Bonny Snowdon 13:36
It was my big sister that got me into doing what I'm doing.
Sarah Gray 13:40
Of course.
Bonny Snowdon 13:40
On truck from Harrogate to Leeds, she was like, come on Bon, this is what you need to do and I was like, oh. I mean, I was kind of doing it, then. It wasn't sort of but she was the one that real catalyst and I've had amazing support. So, that's wonderful. I love her.
Sarah Gray 14:01
Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's funny, because I never want to be that sister who's forever harping on about what they're wearing or anything crazy like that. So, I don't talk about it unless they talk about it to me, and they do and so it's lovely.
Bonny Snowdon 14:22
You've been a stylist then for 16 years.
Sarah Gray 14:25
Yeah, bonkers, isn't it? I can't believe it. So, got married in that time. I had two kids in that time, business has changed evolved so much in that time and thankfully, I'm still here.
Bonny Snowdon 14:44
I'm thinking you'll get all sorts of different people coming, but I imagine that there is that connection. So, you will get almost like probably somebody who shares similar values to you.
Sarah Gray 14:57
Yeah, you're absolutely right. So, over the years, I've probably seen women of all ages of all walks of life in all different stages of their life or journey or whatever. But now, it's kind of gone that way naturally. But I've also kind of niched it a little bit that I really, really, really love working with female business owners who've got a successful business themselves. But they've just got that one little area, that in order to take their business up a notch, they just got to get rid of that fear of showing up and that fear of being accepted because of how they're dressed, and all of those things, and that's the sort of woman I've ended up attracting, and that is more magnificent to me and not only because I can help them, but because I could learn so much from them as well. But I have met the most amazing women and that is something really special.
Bonny Snowdon 16:07
I think over the last couple of years, I've been introduced to all sorts of different people, and the Brand You Magazine, which is where I found you, there's all sorts of people in there that kind of keep popping up in different places and all they're a member of this and a member of that, and you're absolutely right it's this sort of this female entrepreneurship, isn't it? These women that are trying to empowering themselves, but also empowering everybody around them and it's really, really amazing to be part of that community regardless of whether you know somebody really, really well, it's just that brushing shoulders with people who have got something that they can kind of offer you or give you or a little bit of advice or whatever and it's amazing what that little tiny bit of something the impact it can have.
Sarah Gray 17:02
I absolutely agree and I think that the support that women can give women, I have a very supportive family around me. So, it's not that I don't have that support. But the support that comes from entrepreneurial women is unique, I think and if you are a woman in business, running your own business, you need that around you. Because, as you said it is very special, and uplifting and inspiring and even on the not so good days, you've got somewhere to go when somebody understands and I think it's really important and I do network a fair bit, both online and offline and one of the groups I go to, I probably don't really go there for the business now. It's the support and it's always about building relationships, isn't it? But that one particular group I'm thinking of I go there, because I've made so many friends there, and we all support each other and it's magnificent, and you can't replicate that somewhere in other communities, I think.
Bonny Snowdon 18:19
No, it's amazing and the connections and also the friendships that you can make as well is fantastic
Sarah Gray 18:26
Absolutely. I forget sometimes my friends I think, oh gosh, I've been friends for ages. Oh, we met networking. That's how we met.
Bonny Snowdon 18:35
I mean, I'm a funny one because I am definitely all about the comfort and also, I talk to people about getting out of their comfort zone, my comfort zone very much is at home with my dog, with my children do my drawing and this last two years has actually been very comfortable for me because this is where I'm happiest. I'm happy on my own. I love talking to people anyway. I mean, I love having a chat. I think I'm what they call a sort of like an extroverted introvert, where I can be the life and soul. But also, I'm equally really, really happy kind of on my own. But what the downside of that is that I have become very, very comfortable in not looking it's like I've got no makeup on today and sometimes I kind of think to myself, gosh, actually, I really should make an effort. Because is it rude for me to sit here with no makeup on? My sort of linen smock, really glamorous picture of me, but is that rude of me to show up like that and this is something that goes round around in my head still, for me to be really successful, do I have to really make an effort in how I look or can I still walk around looking like a bag lady? I don't mean that in any sort of like but basically making an effort to me is not a huge important part of who I am. But I don't know whether that's still part of almost like my healing process from everything that I've been through. I also do wonder if that's part of my weight issue as well. I won't go too deep, because we'll end up crying, I'll end up crying on you.
Sarah Gray 20:44
Gosh, it didn't take a lot to set me off.
Bonny Snowdon 20:45
But I wonder if it's almost like you were saying about, you're trying not to stand out, but you want to stand out and I'm really happy to show up. I do videos all the time and they're always quite humorous. They're always quite funny. But I'm quite a humorous, funny person. But then I wonder if that's sort of almost like a bit of a mask to kind of protect myself and we're getting a bit deeper. Sorry and we should be talking about you and your styling.
Sarah Gray 21:19
It's all connected though, Bonny.
Bonny Snowdon 21:22
I sometimes think God, I really should make an effort. Because if I don't, that's rude. I should be dressing up and I should be putting my microphone or I should be doing my hair properly. Because otherwise, it's really rude and then the other part of me saying, but is it rude or are you just showing up as your authentic self at the moment?
Sarah Gray 21:42
So, I have probably quite a lot to say about that. But first thing is that word should, we need to get rid of because who says how you should show up? I do not for one minute think, she's rude, she didn't put on makeup today? No. It's not. It just isn't a big thing. It can be and some people you'll talk about possibly having the mask, but some people's mask is showing up with makeup, don't step out the front door without it. So, it goes from complete opposite ends of the spectrum and I think there's so much of the, oh, I should be doing this and I shouldn't be doing that and actually, we're going to use the word should. What we should be doing is what's true to each of ourselves. When you go to an event, or when you go for a photo shoot, the effort is put in. But it's not like some unbelievable amount of effort that you say crikey, this has taken me weeks to prepare for. It's just enough to be appropriate for whatever the occasion or whatever. But on a day to day, you got to be Bonny. That is really important to me. You can just tweak maybe, when you're on camera, as you do. Oh, I'll put my blue shirt on today because I know that looks fab and those things and that's enough. It really is. I genuinely don't think we should be making ourselves into something we're not. As long as we're always appropriate, that's good enough.
Bonny Snowdon 23:36
I've been to, my nephew is 21st. Well, it was actually his 23rd. It was going to be 22nd but second and then now it is [inaudible]. You suggested some really, really nice outfit actually which I wore and I felt part of the whole thing. They were all wearing their dresses and everything like that and I did feel and I would never have picked out what you picked for me and this is something that I remember that the blue shirt with the lizards on?
Sarah Gray 24:16
Yes, I love that shirt. I remember.
Bonny Snowdon 24:19
When you style, I really love how you kind of send your videos through. So, you've got a little circle with your face in it and then you go right, so this is your mood board one and this is what I've chosen for you and this is the reasons why and then it's obviously a system that you use, like a platform or something that you use and you're like I'll go and buy that. So, I'll click on that, I've forgot to go and buy that and you're like, so this is a bit of a, I'm not sure about this. I'm not sure where you're going to like it and I looked and I was like lizards? When would I ever wear anything with a lizard on it? I thought, you know what, I'm open minded and so I bought it. I got it at home and I put it on. I was like, oh my goodness, this is just amazing. The colours, just the way it fitted. Everything was perfect and since then we both been trying to find something similar and haven't kind of got anywhere close. But that is a really, really super piece of clothing and it's so versatile, because I can wear it with stuff under it or whatever. But that then started to show me that I could actually get something that was. But the other thing that you told me as well because we have to do it all virtually. I remember doing it on the phone and me having to go through all my clothes in my cupboard.
Sarah Gray 25:47
That's right.
Bonny Snowdon 25:48
I think other one was like, when you went a little bit quiet, and you weren't rude or anything but almost hear in your head, what were you thinking what? What was going through your mind when you bought that?
Sarah Gray 26:04
Well, I now know you well enough that I could actually say it out loud.
Bonny Snowdon 26:07
No, Bennett. You were why I bought pattern and stuff and you talk me through why those pattern things wouldn't work, so I've got quite big boobs. So, a big pattern kind of over a boob is going to kind of accentuate it and you talk me through all of the reasons why I needed sort of layering and asymmetric shape, and all of that type stuff. Which of course, I mean, if I just had to buy stuff on my own, I buy navy blue and that was it. I'm just dressed head to toe navy blue. Because again, I think I'm trying to just blend in. I was driving through Harrogate yesterday, I was going to a physio appointment and it was quite busy and I was kind of driving up through on the main sort of street where the buses and everything, lots of people around. There was this lady, and she must have been about 60 and she was dressed head to toe, she had pinks, she had oranges. She was like really bright and I literally went past like that. Oh my god, she looks amazing. I would never have spotted her if she would have been stood there in navy blue. She looked fantastic. She was a bigger lady but she was just like, do you know what, I love what I'm wearing and I think I look fantastic and that kind of oozes out then, doesn't it?
Sarah Gray 27:38
It does. It is holding your head high and just own it and that is what she would have done and she'll be doing that daily in all sorts of get up probably because it's how she sounds exactly that sort of person and it's amazing you can really own it and that gives you a kind of an extra layer of confidence. It's very clever. I'm not saying everyone has to go out but where the brightest thing possible. It's not really about that. It's about just being comfortable in what you love. So, like the lizards it was, it was a curveball. But one I really secretly hoped you loved and you did and now you could walk down any high street and hold your head high with your lizards on and they're not in the face, it's all, are they? It's just an interesting, fun pattern and that is, well Bonny is interesting, and she's fun. It is putting you your inside on the outside and that's the key. Sometimes I wonder when we do all we do, sometimes go towards the navies, the blacks, the greys, that all of them are brilliant base colours to have in the wardrobe. But sometimes you think, okay, so what am I trying to hide? What am I? Why don't I want my real meat to be on the outside and I see my job as the icing on the cake. So, you've done all that work that continual personal development. I know you're huge on it, and I know it's a big part of your life as it is mine and when you're at the point where you're ready, you might not know you're ready, like you opened a magazine and thought, I'm ready for that and I'm the icing on the cake. You can't change your life by what you were but it's not a life or death. But for me, it's the icing on the cake when you're comfortable in who you are. It's sort of magic sprinkling if you like.
Bonny Snowdon 29:52
Yeah, I know. Absolutely. I think that's why when I'm doing my Zoom calls, I'm doing different sessions of everything. I feel very comfortable with who I am here, it's when I have to go out of my comfort zone because I'm going on holiday in a couple of weeks’ time. Again, I'm not. I'm thinking, oh, gosh what am I going to wear? Then I'm thinking who cares what I'm going to wear? If I wanted to wear a bikini who cares? There are other large ladies who wear bikinis and I look at them, and I think, they look amazing. I follow different people and everything on Instagram and I can look at some really quite large ladies and still think they look incredibly attractive, beautiful clothes, and I don't look at their bodies and think, God. They just look wonderful. It's funny how I can't look, I was like, I probably need some more inner work, I think. But I can't look at my body and kind of embrace it. I always sort of see this bit of a doe baby.
Sarah Gray 31:08
I'm laughing but I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. It's not uncommon. It's absolutely what women do. We are our own worst enemies. Because we look at ourselves, and we put all the negative thoughts and what we think we see. But we would never dream of saying that to another woman and stand in front of the mirror, this already people are backing off. But if you get yourself into something that's figure hugging, so if you're not happy to stand there with just your underwear, that's fine. Put something like leggings and a tight top on, so you can see your outline and this takes some doing, so you might do it in stages. But if you stand in front of the mirror, and you leave the negative thoughts at the door and you start to actually say what you see. So, you might say, okay, this wouldn't be me, because I've got a really short neck. But you might say, I've got a slender neck. Whereas before, you might have said, my hair's a mess, or I've got a round face. No, let's point out the actual facts. Let's say, okay, all my neck is slender, or it's shorter than so and so or whatever. My shoulders? Yes, they're quite rounded, or they're quite broad, and actually, it's not the internal thoughts we want is the actual facts. So, my shoulders are wider than my hips, my hips are wider than my shoulders, or I don't seem to have much of a waist, or I am straight, or I go in at the waist and come back out again, whatever it is, it'd be different for all of us. But learning those facts and it is a way to kind of accept those facts when we've got the facts. I know I've got a defined waist. Excellent, I know now that I need to wear on perhaps something that's more fitted, so it shows my waist off because then you can start applying the bits that will help you get dressed and it's a slow process, especially most women, I mean, despite the fact that girls spend their lives looking at selfies, doing selfies, and all of that, women of a certain age, myself included, we actually don't like looking in the mirror. So, it's a case of starting gradually and getting used to seeing yourself factually not, I am this and I am that to take almost a step away from yourself, if you like. It's a bit of a rambled way of describing it.
Bonny Snowdon 34:15
I totally get that, totally understand that and it's the same with everything, isn't it? It's about getting rid of that little critical inner voice.
Sarah Gray 34:32
It's hard, that self-talk is so deep but we can, we can amend it. We can change it if we just go about it slowly, and little steps at a time and it reminded me actually one of your podcast guests, Alex, I think her name is from Ubermummies. She talked about celebrating the small wins and it's again, something that we don't do. We always focus on, I haven't done this, and I haven't done that. Actually, hang on a minute, what are the small things I have done, because each of those will add up to something really quite amazing and so I take a very similar approach, it's the small steps that will get you thinking more positively about yourself, and then you can be more proactive and in whatever form that takes for you, let's just say we'll all be different, which is right.
Bonny Snowdon 35:40
Yeah, definitely. Definitely she's a really lovely lady and it's kind of accepting those little steps. I think we all see that big goal in the future and it's like we need to take one big, enormous step to get to that goal. Actually, it's all of the little tiddly wildly stuff.
Sarah Gray 36:03
That can actually get us there.
Bonny Snowdon 36:06
The tiny little steps that get us there means that we can go off on a different direction if we need to, or we can learn this lesson, or we can learn that lesson and those little tiny steps in between, I think, are where we kind of learn all of those bits and pieces.
Sarah Gray 36:24
Yeah, I agree. I agree. As Alex rightly says, we should celebrate them as well.
Bonny Snowdon 36:31
Definitely. I'm not very good at that but yeah.
Sarah Gray 36:33
Neither am I. I think it's stuck with me so much from listening to her.
Bonny Snowdon 36:43
You were saying that it took quite a long time or it was quite difficult to retrain. Did you have to go through an actual training to become a stylist?
Sarah Gray 36:53
I did, because I wanted to learn the theory of the colour and all of that stuff. So, I love that. I mean, it's fascinating to me. This is not a long course; I think it was five days or something. But harder than I ever imagined. But once you've got the theory behind you, you can just use that and then apply your, I call it an art based on a science, because, yes, there is theory behind it. But for me, I always take into account, personality, lifestyle, all of those things, as well as the technical bits, that what might steer you in colour or whatever. So, then it's the bigger picture for me. There are certain things that you just know, because you're interested in it. I'm just trying to think now sort of that if you wear something really baggy, but you've got a waist, you're going to hide it, and certain things you do know but then you learn extra things like fabrics, and all those sorts of things, which I wouldn't really have a clue about fabrics before that. So, it's a lot. But the most learning I do is from meeting people, meeting clients, and keeping all that I know in the background, and pulling out the bits that are relevant to them, tweaking them, making it right for them. Because I don't think that should word about to come out. But there's none of this, you should dress a certain way. It's, you'd need to dress the way that's right for you. Unless of course, you're in an industry where there are strict dress rules, I mean, we would always adhere to those, but we'd still find a way to bring some personality. So, I always use an example of a client who is a part time judge and absolutely we adhere to the rules of the court, without question. The two ways, in fact that she brings her personality and she's quite dramatic dresser and what have you, she has her ring that she wears, and the briefcase that she carries and that's fine, because she has control over those and we're allowed to bring some personality in there. But for the most part, it's about dressing right for you as a person.
Bonny Snowdon 39:29
In the course because when I talk to you, just how you come across, you come across as a somebody kind of gets, I know, imagine quite a lot of people get if they're coming to first-hand for styling, I imagine there can be an awful lot of tears. I can't remember I probably cried, being able to cope with that almost that coaching element where I feel that I could be really sort of truthful with you and if I needed to cry, I would just cry. I know that I would be in a safe space with you. Because you have this sort of kind of aura around you that actually, I can say what I need to say, and I can cry if I need to cry and I won't feel embarrassed or I won't be told, no, no, no, don't cry, don't cry, it's fine. It's fine. You have that lovely way about you that allows people to just bring their emotions forward. Is that something that is just part of you or if you had any training around the coaching side of stuff?
Sarah Gray 40:35
Wow, gosh, that is so amazing for you to say that. I literally could cry at that. Well, no, they don't teach you that bit. I think that that comes from somewhere inside me. I think my family, we don't hide our emotions. We are quite honest and supportive and if you're upset, you're upset, you don't get told there and there now, don't cry or anything like that. So, for me, I think it's about being authentic and I can't be anything else. But me, I'm not very good at trying to be something I'm not and so what you see is me and the fact that you can say that how comfortable and how trusting the space is, means more to me than I could ever begin to find the words for because that's what I would hope. Having said that, I always think yes, there is a very much a coaching element. I've not had any training or coaching ever. But I'm very empathetic and just allow people to be themselves. But it's almost sometimes and I not don't mind telling you this, but almost to my detriment sometimes, in the sense that I, for personal reasons, just got burnout once or twice, went for some counselling and she said to me, what do you do after you've had a client session? What do you do for you? I said, what you mean? I don't know what you mean. Well, obviously what I do is incredibly personal and she said, well, people are offloading on to you. What do you do with that? I said I don't do anything with it. She said, right, you give so much of yourself, you've got to find an outlet for that, to protect yourself. I had never considered that ever and it's similar, I think to, I don't mean it's exactly the same. But when I think of friends who worked for Samaritans, and they do have counselling, they have to then offload and not in an interesting way and I don't tell anybody anything about my clients really. But I have to be able to park it and not become it. But that's taken years for me to learn that because I didn't do that naturally. I would just scoop everyone up and hold them close. But actually, that didn't do me any good. Because I can't fix those bits, I can only fix the bit that I'm the expert at. So, does that makes sense?
Bonny Snowdon 43:34
It makes total makes total and utter sense. As a coach, you would have sort of like a coach supervisor.
Sarah Gray 43:41
It's right. Exactly.
Bonny Snowdon 43:42
Especially with somebody like me comes along to you and goes oh I look a mess, please sought me out. It isn't about the clothes. It isn't ever about what we say it's going to be about and it's about that person, and of course, as soon as somebody feels they can talk might even be something that's totally buried.
Sarah Gray 44:10
Yeah, absolutely.
Bonny Snowdon 44:12
Those things tend to come out. Of course, you're taking all of that, you're absorbing all of that, is all being kind of reflected at you. Again, that can have a huge, huge impact like you were saying. So, what do you do then? What are your hobbies? What do you do or do you just like maybe you just do [inaudible]?
Sarah Gray 44:36
Sure, they are my kids. Well, I love reading. I read every time I sit down or pick up a book. I love it. Weirdly, all the way through lockdown and probably even still now I'm less about reading the business books and the self-help books. I needed sort of get away stuff that didn't require my brain. So, I just read all sorts, whatever. I get a bit of a nervous twitch if I haven't got a book that if I'm going to come into the end of one and there's not another one there waiting. I love doing puzzles. I mean, my friends think I'm 95 and they laugh at me. But I have 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzle on the go most of the time. I love it. Because I totally switch off when I do the puzzles and if anyone tries to help, don't, is my advice. Get out of my space.
Bonny Snowdon 45:40
That's funny. It's just reminding me of, I don't know whether you look on Tik Tok at all.
Sarah Gray 45:44
I don't know.
Bonny Snowdon 45:46
Well, sadly I do and I end up losing hours and hours. My eldest son goes, what you've been doing today mum? Just watching videos. No, I have been really busy. But there's this one where this lady's she's created this. It's a colour chart, it's a colour wheel and all of the spectrum of colour. It's a big round puzzle, oranges, blues, pinks and she put the last one in and she goes, finished and sweeps it right across the table and it just flies into all of the million pieces again and looks at him and I was like, my God, that's not even funny. I had to watch it over and over again. I mean, God, what do you do with them then when they're done?
Sarah Gray 46:35
Well, I sit and look at them for a few days and then I'm like, right, clear that away. Give it back to a charity shop. Get another one.
Bonny Snowdon 46:45
Do you have like certain images or anything or is it just anything?
Sarah Gray 46:49
I don't like pretty pictures. It's not like I don't like pretty pictures. I don't like doing a puzzle of pretty pictures. I tend to go for something that that might be a city scene or might be a bit more original picture would have been maybe hand drawn with like, not quite cartoony. I don't even know what the right phrases but some of the little bit quirky, always really colourful interestingly, now you've made me think about it, always really colourful. I'll just be somewhere like a charity shop or bookshop or somewhere. I'll just do something I'd like, right. Yeah, that's you. I've just started sewing. So, I've always been in awe of people who can sew their own clothes and things and I've never even attempted it. But just recently, I've started. A friend of mine she's got a little sewing studio, about half an hour away. So, I go to her and so far, I've made pyjama bottoms very proud of those and I'm currently just trying to make camisole top. So everyone says, you will be doing cloths next. I was like, no, I will not. This is for me. This is my little getaway, my time for myself where I go somewhere and just think about sewing and nothing else.
Bonny Snowdon 48:14
Brilliant. Honestly, it's been really fun chatting to you. What book are you reading at the moment?
Sarah Gray 48:26
It's called Keeping Secrets and it's fabulous. It's written by a lady called, she changes her surname for the book compared to what it is in real life, Wendy Charlton, I think her author name is but she's a lady I met networking and this book is about espionage. However, the underlying topic is dementia and it is so cleverly written it is about ex spies, who are in a special care home for spies and they've got dementia at different stages and basically what is coming out of their mouths is it real or is it danger to national security? But she's written it from experience of, I think her father in law's dementia journey and it's fabulous and she has the second one's coming out soon and I can't wait.
Bonny Snowdon 49:34
I am going on a holiday a couple of weeks. So, that's something I might get I hope because I love espionage and all of that kind of stuff.
Sarah Gray 49:44
Brilliant. It's not a thick book but it's so good. I loved it. I'm loving it, should I say?
Bonny Snowdon 49:51
I love books. I love reading but I never find the actual time to sit down. I have a lot of, like, say sort of self-help books. So, I'm reading Asking Is Giving. My goodness, if you're anything into like the law of attraction and stuff like that, it's a wonderful book. So, I've got that and then I'm listening to audiobooks at the minute. So, I'm Harry Potter again. So, that just keeps going round and round and round. I do listen to quite a few podcasts if one kind of pops up in my inbox, and I'm thinking, that sounds quite a good one. I'll listen to podcasts. But the sitting down and reading bit I really struggle with because I'm either drawing, or making food or doing something. When I go away, I mean, I could read a book in a day and that's all I'm going to do. So that sounds like good one for me.
Sarah Gray 50:59
mean, the sitting down and reading is something I initially forced myself to do in that, again, from counselling. She said, you don't stop, you've got to have timeout and you've got to listen to your body and you've got to rest sometimes if you feel like resting, rest. Otherwise, I'll be doing all the time. So, I forced myself to sit and read and now if I don't get a chance to sit and read, I'm like, [inaudible] so, thankfully, it became a habit and I'd love a good self-help in a business book. Don't get me wrong, there are just times when my head is too full and it can't take it in.
Bonny Snowdon 51:50
No, I totally get that, sort of like just getting away. I get that.
Sarah Gray 51:59
Where are you going on holiday?
Bonny Snowdon 52:00
I'm going to Corfu.
Sarah Gray 52:04
So envious.
Bonny Snowdon 52:06
We haven't been on holiday for a very long time. We went to Whitby last year.
Sarah Gray 52:16
I like Whitby.
Bonny Snowdon 52:16
I love Whitby, and I've been more than happy just to go to Whitby. So, my daughter came home and she said, we should go on a holiday. I was like, I'll have a look at that. With me going, I'll have a look, she's got her bags packed. She's going to put the time off work. She was like, well, I put the time of work. So, we're going.
Sarah Gray 52:35
Bless her. I love it.
Bonny Snowdon 52:38
I've got a villa, my older sisters joining us.
Sarah Gray 52:43
Brilliant.
Bonny Snowdon 52:44
Then one of my younger sisters is actually staying in Corfu at the same time as well. She's 20 minutes away. So, we're going to meet up with her.
Sarah Gray 52:52
Fantastic
Bonny Snowdon 52:53
Then Duchy Hutchinson who is one of my consultants, he's in Corfu at the same time. So, we're going to meet there as well.
Sarah Gray 53:00
Corfu is so good I will [inaudible]
Bonny Snowdon 53:04
I spent all of my family holidays in Corfu when I was [inaudible] and obviously, it'll be very much changed now. But I'm just thinking, you know what, a week doing nothing, I'm not very good in the sun because I just go pink and burn. But actually, I can sit in the shade and read and do absolutely nothing.
Sarah Gray 53:27
Oh, the Greek food. Oh, just fabulous.
Bonny Snowdon 53:31
Yeah. So, we're looking forward to that. The flying side of stuff, I'm a bit like oh, because all of the airports are up and nothing, I can do about that at this present moment in time. So, we'll just fingers crossed. It'll be okay. But yeah, I'm looking forward to that.
Sarah Gray 53:49
Very nice. Very nice.
Bonny Snowdon 53:52
So, we've been chatting an hour.
Sarah Gray 53:55
Goodness me. So, just you've got to shut me out.
Bonny Snowdon 54:04
It's been just absolutely wonderful talking to you.
Sarah Gray 54:09
Thank you, Bonny, I loved it.
Bonny Snowdon 54:10
Well, this is what I love about these sorts of sessions. I don't send anybody any questions. We just do what we want to do and if we want to have a bit of a lough, we can have a bit of a laugh, but to me, it's just about sitting and having a chat with a lovely person.
Sarah Gray 54:28
Well, I mean, as I said, at the beginning, I listened to all of them, and I love them. They're so easy to listen to and that's down to you and it's just fun and I even thought, what do I need? What do I need? We need a cuppa and a custard cream. I've got a coffee and a malted milk. Will not do?
Bonny Snowdon 54:51
I love a malted milk. The problem with the malted milk though is they come in that sort of single packet.
Sarah Gray 54:59
I know you've [inaudible]
Bonny Snowdon 55:02
You just thought well, one done. You just put it in your coffee, in it goes and then another one. Oh, lord. I've got a box of custard creams in the kitchen [inaudible] next week. They are this size.
Sarah Gray 55:19
No way.
Bonny Snowdon 55:22
I want to say they're about 14 centimetres, five and a half inches long.
Sarah Gray 55:27
Oh, my. That's a custard cream and a half.
Bonny Snowdon 55:33
I've had to work brief all of the children, don't eat them. It's been so nice talking to you, Sarah.
Sarah Gray 55:45
Thank you and likewise. Well, it's I always love talking to you.
Bonny Snowdon 55:50
Just brilliant and you're just fascinating to hear all of the different aspects and everything of your life and everything. I think it's just wonderful.
Sarah Gray 56:00
It's funny, you look at your own story, you don't think it's anything exciting or anything to you. But it's only when you say out loud and people react that you think, okay.
Bonny Snowdon 56:14
I think it's wonderful and you've certainly made a difference to me and my life and everything. But you might not see it with me sitting here now with my smock on.
Sarah Gray 56:25
I see a comfortable body and that for me is it, brilliant.
Bonny Snowdon 56:31
I will be getting all of the posh clothes out for next week. Well, it's been an absolute delight chatting to you. Thank you ever so much and I'll be getting in touch with you very soon again for more clothes.
Sarah Gray 56:49
Oh, bless you. Well, thank you. It's been an honour. Thank you so much.
Bonny Snowdon 56:53
It's a pleasure. Really, really lovely talking to you, Sarah. Thank you.
Sarah Gray 56:56
You're welcome.
Bonny Snowdon 56:57
All right. I'll see you soon.
Sarah Gray 56:59
Thank you. Bye.
Bonny Snowdon 57:00
Bye. I really hope you enjoyed listening to this episode of my It's a Bonny Old Life podcast. If you did, I'd be so grateful to you for emailing me or texting a link to the show, or sharing it on social media with those you know who might like it too. My mission with this podcast is all about sharing mine and my communities experience and hope by telling your fascinating personal stories, championing the other amazing humans in my personal, professional and membership community, and to create another channel through which I can support you to realize your coloured pencil and life dreams. If you haven't done so yet. Please help me on my mission to spread positivity and joy throughout the coloured pencil world by following me on my socials at Bonny Snowdon Academy, or by getting on my list at bonnysnowdonacademy.com, and remember, I truly believe if I can live the life of my dreams doing what I love, then you can too. We just need to keep championing and supporting each other along the way in order to make it happen. Till next time
