Bonny Snowdon 00:06
Hello, I'm Bonny Snowdon, ex corporate person, a mother turned successful artist entrepreneur. It wasn't that long ago though that I lacked the confidence, vision and support network to focus on growing my dream business. Fast forward past many life curveballs, waves of self-doubt and so many lessons learned and you'll see Ignite, my thriving online colour pencil artists community, a community that changes members lives for the better and gives me freedom to live abundantly whilst doing what I love and spending quality time with my beloved family and dogs, all whilst creating my best artwork with coloured pencils, and mentoring others to do the same. But this life wasn't always how it was for me, it used to only exist in my imagination. I've created the It's a Bonny Old Life podcast to help increase people's confidence, share mine and my communities experience and hope through fascinating personal stories, champion the other amazing humans in my personal, professional and membership community, and create another channel through which I can support others to realize their dreams. If you're a passionate colour pencil artist, or an aspiring one who's looking to create their best work, and a joyful life you love, you're in the right place. Grab a cuppa and a custard cream, let's get cracking.
Hannah Tahry 01:19
Hi.
Bonny Snowdon 01:23
Hello, how are you?
Hannah Tahry 01:23
I'm good. How are you, Bonny?
Bonny Snowdon 01:25
I'm really well. Thank you. And look at you all gorgeous and Christmassy.
Hannah Tahry 01:30
Yeah, I love Christmas. I always try and get into it as much as possible. As I told you because I've been making my own Christmas decorations. And I've got quite a stuff here. I do love Christmas.
Bonny Snowdon 01:49
Delighting. Yeah, I like Christmas. But I don't put a huge amount of effort into anything. I've never really felt pressured or anything with Christmas, but I'm a quite a lazy person. So, if something goes wrong, I just go a while.
Hannah Tahry 02:08
That sounds amazing. Teach me your ways, please. I want to be like that. I'm not kidding. I think I struggle with worrying too much about stuff. So, it sounds lovely actually.
Bonny Snowdon 02:29
It is a good thing at times and then other times, it's not because when it comes to attention to detail and things not in my work but in other areas it just doesn't happen. I'm just like, "Oh, it'll be fine." I've just been on the phone this morning to a British Gas. Because my direct debit hasn't changed. I'm on one of these smart meters. And I think it's a bit weird, because coming into winter, and all of this kind of stuff was thinking. Anyway, she's like, "we haven't had a meter reading from the smart meter for a couple of months.'" And I'm thinking "Oh, my Lord." Anyway, I've just thought, you know what? Whatever what. It'll be what it'll be. If I have to pay a big bill, I have to pay a big bill. And so be it. There's no point in worrying about it anyway.
Hannah Tahry 03:26
Yeah. There's a lovely quote, which I was listening to, I heard the other day, which is, if you can fix it, why worry? And if you can't fix it, why worry? I think that's just so true.
Bonny Snowdon 03:37
Yeah, I'm not that big worrier anyway. But it's so nice to see you. I haven't seen you since our coaching back in Augusti time.
Hannah Tahry 03:49
It's been a while. It's been months now, hasn't it?
Bonny Snowdon 03:52
Yeah. I'll never forget our coaching conversation about metaphors. That was honestly such a big moment for me. Because I didn't really understand what we were supposed to do. And sometimes when I don't understand things, I put a bit of a front on and I can get a bit like, "Oh, well I don't really understand it, but go on, then I'll give it a go." And then it just sort of evolved. I think I ended up crying. And it all ended up about boundaries or something. And I'll never forget that conversation with you. It was a really amazing. I don't know how many minutes it was, but it just brought up quite a few things. It was very interesting.
Hannah Tahry 04:38
Yeah, I think that was the thing, wasn't it? From the NLP was the power of things that we take for granted? The power of things like metaphors and the language we use and all of those things. And it really was astounding and how these things we use every day can be moulded into helping us heal. And I think that's what was amazing about metaphors. Because I never realized I was using metaphors in my everyday life to try and make sense of what was going on for me. And it is that puts everything into this concise little kind of image or thing. And it's very powerful to do that. Because the universe of what's going inside us is so expansive and so large, and we need ways of simplifying it, I think.
Bonny Snowdon 05:38
Yeah, definitely. So, I'd love you just to introduce yourself, tell us who you are, what you're doing. So, I know that you're now doing your coaching. I'm right in thinking you're doing coaching. So, as much or as little of your background, as you want to add, I know you've led to an incredible life. So, anything that you want to put in or leave out is absolutely fine. But I'd love to know a little bit more about you. And then we can talk about your business and where you're going and everything.
Hannah Tahry 06:08
So my name is Hannah Tahry, and I'm a life coach. I started my journey. It's been a while since I started. But in terms of my journey of who I am now, but when I came to coaching, it was just over a year and a half ago. And it's been like this big, kind of love affair, really, that helped me personally put everything into context. And it also enabled me to find my purpose and to find my direction of life. And so my business is helping women to connect to their individuality. And it's a very big thing. I think individuality it's a very big subject in terms of, it's so personal, but it's also quite universal. So, it's an interesting topic, I think. But I help women. Essentially, the poetic way of putting it is, I help women connect to their essence. And I think we all have an essence, I see it as magical grain of sand that we all have in us. And I feel very passionately and deeply that we live a very rich life if we're connected to it. So, that's what I do. And that's my passion. And I hope I can help as many women as I can connect to themselves, because I think when we connect to ourselves, we have an amazing relationship with other people. And we have an amazing relationship with life. And that's so. Yeah. So, that's what I'm doing. II do live coaching NLP. And I'm also training to be an emotional freedom practitioner as well. Which is really a beautiful practice. Not many people know about emotional freedom.
Bonny Snowdon 08:08
Yeah, that's the tapping the, is it with the eyes?
Hannah Tahry 08:13
Yeah, it's around the body. It's related to acupuncture. And it's also related to EMDR. In terms it's like EMDR light.
Bonny Snowdon 08:23
That's the one that I was thinking about. So, it's the tapping?
Hannah Tahry 08:28
Yeah.
Bonny Snowdon 08:29
I figured it's something.
Hannah Tahry 08:32
Yeah. I say like, tap it out. Basically, it's like tapping out emotion. But it's a very powerful practice. And I think people are really spooked by how easy it is really. Because I think people think that, including myself that things have to be really complicated in order for things to work. Do you know that?
Bonny Snowdon 08:54
Isn't it funny how actually, you can keep it really simple and get the most massive impact from it. And then people go on, and it's almost like they want it to be really complicated. They're like, "No, it's that simple." It really works. That's fine. So, I'm guessing that these have helped that, If the main core of your business is to help people find their essence, is this something that you have done, personally? And maybe you've got such a lot out of that you want to then share with others?
Hannah Tahry 09:28
Yeah, like 100%. I think my personal journey was very much one of feeling that I was defined by something that happened to me rather than me defining me. And I had a very hard time when I was 19 because my mother committed suicide and previous to that my brother had died as well. And so I very much was living very marked by trauma. And so my 20s, with my mother dying, I had to move into my own apartment well at 19. And I had to live. Basically, find out how to live and find out how to survive with having my whole life changed in no day, literally one day, and everything's different. And so that was a big thing. I think the worst thing actually, when I think about it was feeling really sad that I had to live. What I felt was this massive scar that basically people were telling me, and I very much believed that I had to be the way I was. You'd be someone who lived with trauma, and be someone who is defined by something that happened to them that was out of their control. So, I did. I lived that way for a long time. And I lived with everyone telling me all different kinds of things about myself and all different kinds of things about who I should be. And then I basically, along my journey of being quite lost. But what I didn't realize is I was learning a lot about how to find yourself, basically. Is a really weird thing when you're lost, because you're trying to find your compass? And that's what I was trying to do. I was really trying to find my compass. And I did, eventually. I very much did. But I think its funny Bonny, because I think, what I didn't realize throughout the whole thing was that I had it in me all the time. It was that I was not being true to myself. I think that's a really interesting thing. Is like everyone has it in them. It's kind of I find my job to be helping people come back to themselves, rather than to go away from themselves if that makes any sense.
Bonny Snowdon 12:14
Yeah. Because, like you say, going through something like that, you just can't contemplate it. It's just the most awful thing. And at that young age, as well, the influence you have from other people and other people almost telling you how you should be feeling. How this is going to be the rest of your life and everything like that, like you were saying. And you take that on, you're still growing as a person. So, they become then your beliefs. And it's almost like your belief system is, this is how I am. And I honestly believe that anything that is not part of who you are, like your essence that you talked about before, anything that's not part of that essence feels alien. So, it will come out as anxiety, as stress, as anger, as whatever. Because it's almost like your inner being if you like, just going, no, this isn't me. But then you have to go well, this is what I'm supposed to do. Nobody tells you how to grieve. I don't think somebody can tell you how to grieve because we all have different ways of coping with it. Some of us just put it away and hope it will go away. And then it comes out and manifests itself in other things. But people are very good at telling you how all of this is going to happen. "You're going to have to live with this now. And you're going to have to do that." And I think it takes an incredibly strong person to be able to actually come out of that and just go, "Hang on a second. This isn't me, this isn't how I want to live my life." And when we were talking in our coaching, it really resonated with me because we all told our personal stories and everything and it was incredibly emotional. But yours really sat with me and I was like, this woman is amazing. She is incredible, so strong and everything. Not because you've just got over this terrible time in your life. But because you've taken it and you've done something with it, and you've grown with it, and you're not allowing that to then dictate how the rest of your life is going to pan out. And that is such a strong message.
Hannah Tahry 14:33
That's the reaction I get a lot when I do tell my story, is how strong I am. But the way I see it in myself is I don't think I am stronger than someone else. No, really. I honestly don't think that's true. I think the only thing that I did really was live with hope, and internalized hope. Also believed that it could be better. I think I believed it could be better than it was. But I don't know, Bonny, I don't think I am stronger. I think I very much used ways of coming out of it. There were actual skills and things to come out of it. And I really think out of what people separate, how we are separated from other people is a thing of resources. In the sense that I don't think there's anything really different about me, and someone who lives homeless. The only difference is that I have more resources than that person. Be it education, or understanding or knowledge, or money, whatever it is. It's resource. And I think belief is a resource. It can be used as a resource. Whatever we believe about ourselves, really is the case. But beliefs can be changed. As I think, beliefs really change with how I see myself.
Bonny Snowdon 16:29
Definitely. Did you seek out somebody to help you? Or was it more of a resourcefulness within you that was like, "Gosh, this isn't me, I do want to change, I need to find different things to be able to help." Or was this sort of like a moment in time where you just thought like, I've got to do something about this, I need some help.
Hannah Tahry 16:54
No, I did, I actually sought out a lot of help. A lot of help. I really was like, I want to get out of this. I really want to get out of this. How do I get out? And I went to a lot of different therapists, I really should have a painter, I saw a lot of different people. And I basically got diagnosed with probably every single condition and everything possible. And I was put on different medications. The whole lot, really. Let me just make something very clear. I think the mental health issue is incredible. I think therapy is incredible. I think how it helps people, it is absolutely amazing. And I think that labels that people are called to understand their conditions are very empowering in the right situations. Things like maybe someone who has been having depression, or bipolar, or anxiety, or whatever it is, is very empowering for that person, because they understand what's wrong with them, in a sense. What happened with me is I was very frustrated by the labels people were calling me. Someone telling me and labelling me as depressed or labelling me as having anxiety, or these labels really affected me, because I felt like again, I was doomed to living a certain way. With, again, a kind of mark on me that someone else had put on me. And I didn't feel with anything. That anything that I was called that it was right. I just didn't feel like it sat with me. That I was bipolar, for example. I didn't believe that, really, in my essence. And so I guess to answer your question, I think they did. Actually going to a lot of therapists helped me understand what I wasn't and what kind of help I didn't need. It was kind of that thing of getting lost in order to be found. But I think the most empowering thing and this is the thing that really was the game changer was discovering coaching, because coaching allowed me to own my story, rather than for my story to own me. And that was huge. That was gold. That was pure gold for me.
Bonny Snowdon 19:49
Is that the learning, the coaching models and how to coach? Because I feel very similarly about that as well when I did my coaching course back in 2014, or whatever. And it was like, Oh, my goodness. It really helped me understand why I was behaving in certain ways. Why I was reacting in certain ways, that kind of thing. Just bringing the different models and everything that they come into like when you're learning about coaching and everything like that. And not necessarily being coached. But learning about how to coach, had a huge impact on me and how I behaved and how I showed up, I guess. The biggest impact I've ever had really.
Hannah Tahry 20:43
Yeah. And it's incredible isn't it, Bonny? Because I feel like what I love about the coaching is that, these are all tools that we learn that everyone that learns and can coach themselves, rather than, solely relying on other people to feed you what you need. Does that resonate with you?
Bonny Snowdon 21:09
Absolutely. Being able to self-coach, being able to talk yourself down from a situation. Like the British Gas conversation, I just had. "Oh, well, we haven't been able to take a smart meter reading for a few months yet. And oh, gosh, there's been a really high spike." And I'm like, "Oh, my goodness." So of course, I come off thinking, "Oh, I've got a smart meter." And inside getting really angry, because I'm like, this is the reason I've got a smart meter. And then all of a sudden, I'm thinking, "Why I'm I getting all worked up about this? I don't know what the outcome is, because they haven't told me what the outcome is. They're going to call me later. So, I'm just going to leave it and if I have to pay a big bill, I have to pay big bill. And that's it." So what could be like a big eruption and completely ruin my day was literally five minutes of me getting a bit angry and then going over, "For God's sake, calm down, Bonny."
Hannah Tahry 22:06
Yeah, I can see you really, I can completely relate to that. I think whereas it's again, the kind of the flipping it over. Whereas emotions very much could define me. My emotions could define me in the past. It more feels like I am, I have an equal relationship with my emotions. And my head, I don't know. But completely I can know exactly what I mean. And it's amazing to me, and I think that's incredible. How people change I was thinking isn't thinking back, like, the way that we're able to develop and become these people that it's a beautiful thing. It's like a hero's journey thing to look back and see how much we've grown and how much I've changed is truly amazing. I don't know if you feel the same about your journey, Bonny?
Bonny Snowdon 22:59
Oh, gosh, yes, absolutely. I've changed hugely. I've done a lot of internal work to deal with different things. Grief and trauma and all of that kind of stuff. And it wasn't something actually that I decided I needed help with. It was something that I was telling myself, I didn't need help with, but particularly the grief and what had happened in my marriage and everything. And I believed myself as being a strong person that didn't need that help. So, it was just pushed away. My coach Susie Powell, a very astute lady. She was helping me with my book. Well, that's why she came on board was because I wanted to write a book. And she's an author, and that's what she was going to coach me with. And we were getting to know each other. And she was just asking questions, and she caught something. I think I'd raised my eyebrow about something. And she went, "Oh, hang on a second." And asked me a few very pertinent questions. And then it all came out. It was clearly the right time.
It was clearly with the right person, but I hadn't realized that I needed it, and how much it would help. And how much else came from it, you know, you think Oh, yes, I need help with, you know, the grief of somebody dying. And I need help with being able to talk about mental abuse and everything like that. But then everything else that comes with that, like the boundaries thing that we were talking about right at the beginning. That's been huge for me and it might seem like quite a small thing. But setting yourself really good, strong, healthy boundaries, in personal and in business life. It makes a massive difference. And what it does is it allows you not to get upset by tripped over by all of that kind of stuff. I used to get, like, somebody might write me an email or something, and then the email might be a bit rude for example. And I've got to understand that when somebody sends me an email where they're like, "Oh, this has been rubbish, I couldn't find this. And this wasn't right." I've really understand that that's their anger coming out in that email to me, it's their frustration with themselves.
It's nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me. And, and being able to put boundaries in so that I know what I can, or I know what I will, and I won't accept now has been a game changer for me. Because you get these comments that are made, literally they'd filter in and they'd sit with you. And you've been mulling them over and you'd feel them here. An hour's time, you'd still be thinking about them and your heart would start racing. They become silly comment that somebody said. Some throwaway comment. And now, because I've set myself these boundaries, and I understand how people work, I'm not triggered by them.
Hannah Tahry 26:20
Yeah, 100%. And I think I can totally relate to that. I think these niggling things that happen in life, and the amount of the emotions that brings up these little comments, and then all of a sudden, it's like that little worm in your mind. Like, in my mind, I can feel it, I can feel it in my mind being like [Inaudible]. And I think actually, one thing that really was like a light bulb moment for me was this thing where I was really worried about my dog who was ill. And I was putting a lot of energy into worrying about it. And I was in bed and I remember, I'll never forget this moment where I just was like, "You know what, I love me first." And literally, it was an insane moment, because I could feel all of this anxiety, leave my body. It just was like a sieve, where it just went. And it was incredible, because I think we do, we put so much effort and time into these things about worrying about other people, especially women, I think, because we care, we care a lot. And all of a sudden, we totally forget about our own boundaries, as you said, own priorities of looking after ourselves. In fact, I think self-love can be very much interpreted as selfish. I disagree wholeheartedly with that statement actually. I don't know. Yeah, I think it's not true.
Bonny Snowdon 28:09
I agree. And it's funny, because actually, there's a part of me earlier in my life, where I did see it as being selfish. And I did think, I'm a mum, and I was married and everything and it was almost like, that I can't have that time to myself, because that's really selfish, I should be doing something for somebody else. And that has changed hugely for me this year, as well. So, I do an awful lot of self-care, now. I've been swimming this morning so that’s why hair's like this. But I go swimming. I not only go swimming, I sort of swim for like half an hour, then I go in the cold pool and sit there gasping for a bit. And then I go in the thermal pool, and I sit with all of the bubbles around me. And then I go in the sauna. And I don't take my phone with me. And I have sort of probably about an hour, hour and a half of just utter bliss. And I would have seen that as being an utter waste of time and completely selfish.
Hannah Tahry 29:20
Yeah, I know. And it's amazing because on a rational level like if I was going to bring it down to a metaphor, it's kind of this thing of, if we're a water container, and we keep giving, like, keep providing the water. And then we get to the bottom and there's nothing more. How is it possible? It's just not possible to give anything to anyone else. It's just it won't be because the energy would have been sapped. We know really. It's the most unselfish thing that anyone can do because we're no good to anyone if we don't take care of ourselves really.
Bonny Snowdon 30:05
And actually, that's almost like the beginning part. Well, I think people have different starting points, they suddenly realize one thing. And then there's like this bit of a roller coaster and they think, Oh, hang on a second. I've got this. And I've got this. And I've got this, and I've got this. So, I have so many people who they want to do something, but they don't have time. Or they're too busy. They've got to do this. And they've got to do this. No, I just can't, I just don't have time. And actually, that prioritizing time for the things that are really important for us, that make us happy, and that refill that big watering water. That's what it is, that self-care that stuff that we do for ourselves, it refills it. It's like a magical thing. I know you like Harry Potter as well, though.
Hannah Tahry 31:01
Oh, gosh. I love Harry Potter.
Bonny Snowdon 31:03
So is the bit where he's with Hagrid, and Professor, what's his name? And he's trying to get the information out of Tom Riddle, and the horcrux. And basically, he's there under the table filling the wine jar, keeps filling the wine jar that they get really drunk and then he tells him. But it's like that it's that magic, isn't it? That the magic of doing stuff for us and really enjoying what makes us happy has that magic ability to be able to fill our cup again. And right up to the brim. And then you've got enough energy for everybody else?
Hannah Tahry 31:47
Yeah, absolutely. I think it is that and I also believe as well, though, that it is and I think women frame it. The selling point is, love yourself so you can love other people. But I think actually, we all have a real right to live with looking after ourselves. We have a loyalty to ourselves as well. And I think it is something that is very selfish. But that scene is very selfish. But what about the relationship that we have to our self? Would we want to see someone else treated the way that we treat ourselves? I don't know, there are some times that I hear people's thoughts and my thoughts. And I think if that was said to someone else, I would think that person was horrible, actually. When we hear the kind of language we use with ourselves and the way that we frame things? And it is that of like, well, we really have the right to live life to the full and to be true to ourselves. And there is a lot of guilt around I think, Bonny, you're right. There is.
Bonny Snowdon 33:06
Yeah, definitely. And when you start thinking about that internal voice, I think we've become a little bit immune to the sound of it, we'd get so used to what it's saying that it's almost like we stop hearing it. And we just do what we know its saying. Do you know what I mean? And if we really listen to our internal voice, and we really listen to the tone that it uses, it's very interesting, than to sort of say, "Gosh, hang on a second yeah, I'm really not very kind to myself." I see it when words are spoken as well. And I think the spoken word is so important. You were talking about labels before, and how actually, it's very empowering to add labels on certain things that people know what's going on with them. My little sister was diagnosed with Asperger’s a few years ago. And that was like, amazing.
She was like, I now know why I behave like I behave. And I'm just so happy that I've now got a thing. This is me now. And that was really helpful for her. But then I see people writing things. So, I've got a few groups on Facebook, and they're obviously all around art and everything like that. And you see people the words that they use, and you just think, gosh, if you just flipped those words around and just used an alternative, your post that comes across as really sort of quite unhappy. And, I understand that people get unhappy about things and they get stressed about things and it gets really frustrating. But if you continue to use those words, written, spoken, internally, you become those words. That's what you become. And that's why I don't like putting labels on things like impostor syndrome and stuff like that. Because you then become that thing. Just like my sister has become somebody with Asperger's, which she is. And that's incredibly brilliant for her.
But if somebody continually says, "Oh, I've got impostor syndrome, oh, well, I got impostor syndrome." You become that thing. And for me, the power of language, I think, is incredibly important. I do it myself. I did a session with somebody last week. And I said, I need to be more organized. And she was like, "Bonny why are you using this language?" Need it's almost like a negative word. But it means that you're not doing it now. And actually, it's a bad thing that you're not doing it in that context that we were talking about. She said, if you swap that need with want, I want to do it, it becomes much more positive. And it becomes something that you know what, I do want to do that. So, need almost like, makes me want to rebel against it.
Hannah Tahry 36:07
Yeah, I know. And I tried to consciously as well use that language like, no, I need to tidy up, I need to do this. It's like, well, I want to tidy up, I want to do this to me, because it ties back to my values. What is important to me, I was thinking this the other day, as well as I was having a problem, I can't even remember what the problem was now. I was going over this problem. And I was thinking, oh, my God, this problem. And I really had this light bulb because I was like I'm choosing, in choosing this problem. Because I think we forget as well that everything is sort of a choice. But it really doesn't feel like a choice. I guess it sort of is but it doesn't feel like it. And I think it's owning that we as well are choosing a problem in a sense. But that we do choose problems. We do choose problems according to what we value again, and what's important to us, but it's nice to know, I think that we were the head of the problem. I don't know if that makes sense. But it's to be aware that we can live according to what we're fighting for, what we want, what our dreams are, how we want our life to be. And we're therefore choosing that to be a problem, what we're struggling with, because we're trying to get there, and we're trying to be what we want to be. Does that make any sense?
Bonny Snowdon 37:42
Yeah, I think it does. And you are right. I know some people will probably say, when I'm worrying about something, it's not a choice. It's just I'm worrying about it, because it's important. Actually, if you thought about it, and if you had that conversation with somebody, that coaching conversation, you probably realize that, what am I worrying about? Why am I worrying about this? For me it is a total utter waste of time, my time worrying about something that's going to happen in the future. So, my husband used to do this funny old thing. He used to love parties and stuff like that. He'd be the life and soul. He'd be singing and be the run up to the party. He would be paranoid, he would be worried, and he would be dreading it. My family's a bit of a haggy kissy family, and he'd be like, I'm going to have to kiss your mom. I was like, "Well, don't kiss my mom. Or she'd be really upset." And I was like, "No, she won't, just don't kiss her doesn't matter. What are you worried about it for?" And he would be an absolute ogre for a couple of weeks before this party. And when I get to this party, and I'd be thinking, oh, my God, this is just going to be the most. And then he'd be singing, he'd be doing the karaoke. Everybody went, "Oh, my God, Dave is the life and soul of the party." I'm like, "You should have seen him for the last few weeks." Worrying what this party was going to be like. I kept on saying to him, what is the point in worrying and he couldn't help it? He did have some very awful mental health issues. But for me, I'm like, if can't do anything about it, what's the point. And I think that's a mechanism that I've got. I don't think. That's something that everybody's got, but I do think it's something that you can learn.
Hannah Tahry 39:38
Yeah, I think you can learn it. And again, it is this thing where we all live as well with vulnerability. We all live with being human, because we're all human. And we all are these perfectly imperfect creatures that walk around who are genuinely doing the best they can. And genuinely doing the best, we're all doing the best we can. And that being a very important point that we are just people, and we're trying our best. And I think the great thing is as you just said, Bonny, we can try and learn these skills and learn these things that help us on a day to day basis. Because life can be really challenging. But as you said, it is very much this thing of, if I can be in charge of myself as much as I can, if I can fully understand myself as much as I can, and I can fully love myself and who I am as much as I can. It can be better, and it can be easier. And I can live with joy. And we're not here forever, are we? Were here for a very short time.
Bonny Snowdon 41:00
Well, we are here for a really short time. And you and I both know that it goes in the blink of an eye, doesn't it? And actually finding ways of living. It sounds really cliché, doesn't it? Living your best life, living a life of bliss and everything. But honestly, it's so nice when you get to a point where you're just like, you know what? I'm really comfortable with who I am, I'm really happy with what I'm doing. And I'm really happy with the world around me. I know, there are horrific things going on in the world. My view of the world, and this was something that really struck me as well was that, the map of the world was the NLP thing. Is that a map of the world?
Hannah Tahry 41:38
The life map? The map is not the territory map.
Bonny Snowdon 41:50
We all have a different view of what the world looks like. I choose to see the world as amazing place. That's given me amazing opportunities and everything, I've got quite a lot of sisters, and I have one sister who is one of those people who would be with a banner that are for women's rights. And, in fact, I've got well, three sisters, who would be very much like that. Whereas I see myself sort of very, I'm not kind of up here, I'm not down there, I'm just in the middle, I'm just kind of happy to be me. And I'm happy to have my life. And I don't have hugely strong views about things. Whereas a couple of my sisters have incredibly strong views about things. And which is wonderful, because we have to have all of these different people. We have to have people who have those strong views, because they're the ones that make the changes. They're the ones that make the changes for the environment, for rights, for all of that kind of thing. You couldn't have everybody liked me. Oh, actually it would be quite nice, quite nice thing, actually. But you know what I mean, you have to have these different people. And you have to have these people all have a different version of the same world. So, I might be like, I think the world's wonderful. And you might have somebody else who's like, "Oh, my God, the world's most horrific place, how can we possibly bring a child into this place, what's going to happen with the world"
Some people might see that as me being very naive, and maybe, putting my head under the sand and all of that kind of thing, but it really is just how I view the world. I know, the big things that are happening. And I give an awful lot to charity. That's one of the things. I don't really shout about it an awful lot, but I give a lot to charity. And that's almost like my way of going, I know what's happening and this is kind of the only thing that I feel I can do. I don't know whether it's because I don't watch the news. And I think if I started to watch the news, I think I would just become so sad. And completely disillusioned. And my whole energy would go down and I don't think I want to. That's my choice to do that. But then I'll give money to charity. And I'm like, it might not be what other people think is needed. Other people might be there, making pieces in Poland and all of this kind of stuff. For me, I can give money. And I can support that way. And that's how I can do it. And I think that's what we've all got to realize is that, everybody is so different and that they have a different version, and they have a different way of being able to allow themselves to be okay.
Hannah Tahry 44:58
Yeah, and exactly that. And I think you're right, I think we are all so different. And it's what makes the place, this world, so colourful and so vibrant is the people and how we can all teach each other about life, about how we see the world and our perspective. And it is truly remarkable. I think you're right. That's kind of the thing is that I love it when people do connect with who they are, because it really adds flavour. It adds a lot to the world in terms of how we can help each other. Because if we all have a story or have a unique perspective, and we all have something very much to give. But I do agree with you in terms of that watching the news and everything. I think also living with a sense that love always has the final word in a sense, and living with that kind of that hope is so important and so vital. Yeah, I do think it's very true.
Bonny Snowdon 46:13
Amazing. I've got all of these things going on in my head at the moment. And I'm thinking, you know, what? I would love to do a regular session with you. Where we just pick something, and then we just talk about it. I think that would be really great. Because for me, I do all my live streams and everything like that, but then to be talking about this stuff that I've learned, and I am quite passionate about. To be able to talk about it and have a really fascinating conversation, not necessarily with somebody who has exactly the same views as me, but be able to listen, and go, yeah, I get that. I understand that. And I don't know whether you'd be up for that. But it'd be really nice we'd have Coach Hannah. Just before, because we've got like about 10 minutes left, I'd really like to know a little bit more about your business, and what you're planning on doing, who you're hoping to help, all of that kind of stuff. So, a bit of a bit of a plug for your business.
Hannah Tahry 47:24
Yeah, so in terms of my business, I work with women. And so my business is fully centred on helping women. With individuality, it's a thing with women, I find that seems to be a little bit of a struggle. Without being stereotypical, a little bit more of a struggle sometimes for women than it is for men, just because of the social conditionings, the history of how women have been treated, how we've been treated. And I'd won't want to get into all the politics and all of that over it. But we did end up in a place where we had to be a certain way. And we had to be in this kind of mould and live by this mould. And I think that we have now come to an incredible point in history, and where we are, we do have the opportunity to be heard, and to be seen, and to be acknowledged for who we are. And without having to be a woman in quotations. And I think this is really incredible. We're sitting on a lottery ticket here. And I really want every single woman to cash it in. And in terms of being individual doesn't mean not being a woman. In fact, I would argue completely the opposite of that. Because I consider myself to be in my private life very feminine in terms of my energy, in terms of I love things that sparkle, and I love all of the girly stuff. That I want to be seen.
And I want to be acknowledged for more than that. And I really feel passionately that we live in a world where I want to help women break free of this mould, so that we can actually give out the children that we bear and everything they live in a better world because that's how it works. Isn't that Bonny? Pain breeds pain breeds pain. And it is this thing where it trickles down into every single generation and then all the children have to basically put up with the things that we didn't sort out for ourselves. They get the leftovers so to speak. So, again, it is a very unselfish thing and it's a very beautiful thing when I see it with clients, when they connect to themselves. The light in the eyes and the way that they live, and the way they're able to give more and love themselves. So, that's kind of my work. In terms of my work, I work with all different kinds of women. Young professionals, especially, who are trying to find their path and find who they are. And I also do coaching, and I use NLP. And I will be using EFT as well, that I work with women very much on the basis that it's not me, giving them therapy, it's very helping add a bit of water or a bit of nutrients to help them flourish, and to help them grow. And it's a beautiful thing to be part of. It's a real privilege actually.
Bonny Snowdon 51:03
That sounds wonderful. I'd really like to know a little bit more about the EFT. I know a little bit about it, and I have done it. I see it as almost like an interrupter for thoughts and everything. But can you just talk a little bit more about EFT? Because it is fascinating, and it is really helpful.
Hannah Tahry 51:22
Yeah, I think EFT is going to be revolutionary in terms of what it's going to give to the mental health profession. And I'm an advocate for 100%. It is something that is sort of seen still as a little bit Woowoo by professionals, and I kind of sit back and I find it funny, because I feel like I'm part of a movement, just like a hippie movement, just like feminism back in the 60s, or racism, how people were repressed or any kind of repression. In a sense, I see it as a kind of thing where what is seen as crazy then becomes normal. So, I feel like this is going to be normalized in like 50 to 50 years’ time, whatever. And I was one of the first. I could say it feels good. But it is very much linked to EMDR and EMDR being trauma treatment. I know from my own personal experience, that nothing helped me so much as EFT and EMDR. Because I really believe wholeheartedly that any kind of well, "most" problems to do with mental health really link back to trauma, and to things that have happened in our life that actually becomes stored in our body. Because there's research now showing that trauma is actually stored in our body. And when we can't figure out what's wrong, it's literally trapped trauma. But that's simplifying it a lot. But EFT is basically EMDR light, it's like Coca Cola light compared to EMDR. When we walk around in our day, we all have things that happen, negative things that build up just like we were talking about at the beginning. And things that neglect us and things. And EFT I see it as kind of like keeping maintenance on the body keeping maintenance on the mind. It's kind of like every day mot checks, if that makes any sense. We don't well, what happens when we get angry is that, you know, it gets stored. So, something ugly happens. It's like putting a penny in a jar. And then another thing happens and you put penny in the jar and before you know it all these pennies have added up in a very not in a good way because you know who would say no to kind of money, but it's more that these all get added up. And then what happens is we struggle deeply. And with every penny that that just gets added as well. It adds to a belief about ourselves. And it's like every penny can add to I'm a failure, for example, or I'm not lovable, and it adds up and EFT really is releasing it from the body. So, it's no longer a problem for us. And it's maintenance, it's self-care in the most beautiful form.
Hannah Tahry 51:23
Yeah. And in the simplest what it is, it points on your body that you tap. But how I've sort of learnt it and valuate on a very simple scale, the tapping but also with a mantra that goes with it.
Hannah Tahry 54:57
Yes, that's very important. And also with tapping it points of the body that we release. With EFT it's very you think of the thing. So, the mantra that's used quite a lot is I love. Even though I have this, I completely and deeply love and accept myself today. You use that mantra, and then you can focus in on the memory or the thing that's upsetting. And you literally tap it out of your body. Again, I am aware how crazy this does sound to some people completely an utter woo woo land. In fact, Bonny, I go as far as to say that part of me sometimes is like, this is insane. You know, that very fashionable part is, you are crazy, to think this would work, but it does. And that's just the truth. That's just proof is in the pudding as it's as easy as that.
Bonny Snowdon 56:03
I love Woo, I absolutely love Woo. I can't remember whether you follow her as well. But I'm going to Amsterdam in May to see Esther Hicks.
Hannah Tahry 56:13
Oh, no. I don't follow her.
Bonny Snowdon 56:16
Oh, my God. Abraham Hicks. Asking it's given the book. It's all the attraction. Oh, I'm so excited. I and my little sister are going. She's beyond excited. She has all the questions ready? So, I know, she's going to choose me. I've got all my questions. And we're not talking the secret or anything like that we're talking of really, its lifelong learning. The law of attraction, its vibration, it's what you put out, you get in. There's no sort of one thing that you can do to kind of live a life around that. And all of these things like EFT, like coaching, like NLP, they all connect, they're all a part of this little lovely connection, like a bit of a puzzle, really. So, it's not just doing one thing, and it's finding what works for you. And it doesn't matter if something's will or not if it works for you. And it helps. Is wonderful.
Hannah Tahry 57:27
Absolutely. I think that one of the things I love to live by is one of my core values is curiosity. And it's being open just even if it seems something that I reject, I try my best to keep open to it. I hope that it won't be seen as woo woo. There is a lot of research going into it. It is something that's been studied, don't get me wrong. I hope that it doesn't stop people from experiencing it, or at least trying it once. Because it really is proof in the pudding. And it's remarkable. But I agree with Bonny, completely.
Bonny Snowdon 58:15
I could talk forever with you, I really could. And I mean it when I say I'd really like to do some regular sessions, where maybe we could pick, like a topic around coaching, around what we can share with people to help them. I think would be such a lovely thing to do. I think we are pretty similar in our thoughts, but I think we probably do have some things that are slightly different. Not necessarily clashing different. But what I've come to understand is actually, I came to a point where I was only listening to people who had exactly the same mind-set as me, and exactly the same values and they want to do exactly the same amount of life for me. And, honestly, it's no good. You have to open yourself up to people who have got completely different. I'm not saying you've got different views to me, but completely different views. People who are maybe a little bit on the edge with certain things where it's like, oh, hang on a second, I'm not sure whether I feel comfortable about that. And what it does is it makes you think about you and your core values and how you think about stuff and it almost sort of cements and concrete in everything about you or it makes you think, "Whoa, I'm not sure whether what I was thinking is what I want to think now. I think I might want to change my mind about how I felt about that." And just talking to so many different people with different views, different values, different everything. I think it's just a wonderful thing to do. Opening yourself up to everything is fabulous.
Hannah Tahry 59:48
I completely agree. I think it's wonderful to meet people who challenge my beliefs. It can be quite scary sometimes to do because obviously if we get challenged on certain things, it brings up question marks of how we need to change. And that's a scary prospect in some senses, but I think it is. And it's beautiful to see how it's only by talking to people that are different, that I feel truly inspired. And I feel truly motivated and alive as well. I think we can get definitely into bubbles of just being with people like us and I've definitely done that before. But I think it would be a real shame. I think it's a kind of thing, isn't it as well? That the people who are like me are kind of the home that I go back to, and people who are different are sort of the adventure that you can go on and explore. It's quite nice I think to have both. I don't think it has to be one or the other either.
Bonny Snowdon 1:00:56
Yeah, definitely. Well, I've thoroughly enjoyed chatting to you. So, nice to see you again. And yeah, I think we should set up something regularly. I think it'd be really nice.
Hannah Tahry 1:01:10
Yeah. Wow. That'd be great. I'd love that, Bonny. I'd love to do a regular spot with you. I love talking to you.
Bonny Snowdon 1:01:22
Well, it's really nice to see you and all of your Christmas. You've even got your gorgeous Christmas top on it. It just looks so lovely. And I've just got dogs in the background. You can see I've got the new little puppy sitting on the chair there. She's been so good. She's so cute. She's called Dora.
Hannah Tahry 1:01:43
Dora, she looks very comfortable as well in that chair.
Bonny Snowdon 1:01:49
She's claimed it. She's eaten all of the buttons off my expensive cushions. We don't care.
Hannah Tahry 1:01:53
They just get away with it. The same with my max. I'm just like, he does something naughty. But then you look into his beautiful brown eyes and all of a sudden it just fades away.
Bonny Snowdon 1:02:06
Well, have a very lovely Christmas. And I'll get in touch. And we'll see if we can set something up. We'll maybe look at some subjects to rip apart in the New Year.
Hannah Tahry 1:02:18
Brilliant. Do you need anything from me at all? Any kind of anything from me for the podcast? You don't need?
Bonny Snowdon 1:02:26
Oh, I'll get in touch, photo and some links and stuff like that. But it's been a joy to talk to you, Hannah. Thank you so much for coming on. It's been so lovely to catch up with you again.
Hannah Tahry 1:02:36
You too Bonny. So, lovely to see you, and I hope you have most wonderful Christmas.
Bonny Snowdon 1:02:41
Thank you. All right, darling. See you soon. Bye.
Hannah Tahry 1:02:45
Bye.
Bonny Snowdon 1:02:45
I really hope you enjoyed listening to this episode of my It's a Bonny Old Life podcast. If you did, I'd be so grateful to you for emailing me or texting a link to the show, or sharing it on social media with those who might like it too. My mission with this podcast is all about sharing mine and my communities experience and hope by telling your fascinating personal stories, championing the other amazing humans in my personal, professional and membership community, and to create another channel through which I can support you to realize your coloured pencil and life dreams. If you haven't done so yet. Please help me on my mission to spread positivity and joy throughout the coloured pencil world by following me on my socials at Bonny Snowdon Academy, or by getting on my list at bonnysnowdonacademy.com, and remember, I truly believe if I can live the life of my dreams doing what I love, then you can too. We just need to keep championing and supporting each other along the way in order to make it happen. Till next time.
