Bonny Snowdon 00:06
Hello, I'm Bonny Snowdon, ex corporate person, a mother turned successful artist entrepreneur. It wasn't that long ago though that I lacked the confidence, vision and support network to focus on growing my dream business. Fast forward past many life curveballs, waves of self-doubt and so many lessons learned and you'll see Ignite, my thriving online colour pencil artists community, a community that changes members lives for the better and gives me freedom to live abundantly whilst doing what I love and spending quality time with my beloved family and dogs, all whilst creating my best artwork with coloured pencils, and mentoring others to do the same. But this life wasn't always how it was for me, it used to only exist in my imagination. I've created the It's a Bonny Old Life podcast to help increase people's confidence, share mine and my communities experience and hope through fascinating personal stories, champion the other amazing humans in my personal, professional and membership community, and create another channel through which I can support others to realize their dreams. If you're a passionate colour pencil artist, or an aspiring one who's looking to create their best work, and a joyful life you love, you're in the right place. Grab a cuppa and a custard cream, let's get cracking.
I find I tend to always connect with who I speak to. But with my next guest, the connection was just so they're. So like, I've known this guy all my life. He's so relaxing to be around. He's one of those people, you could spend all day just drinking cups of tea whether or not realizing where the day is gone. I'm now thinking we need to chat again very soon. And he needs to teach me in our podcast how to play the ukulele. I'm delighted to introduce you to Matt Parkin. Hi, Mark.
Matt Parkin 01:46
Hello, Bonny. How are you doing?
Bonny Snowdon 01:48
I'm great.
Matt Parkin 01:52
Ask me some questions or shall I ask you some questions?
Bonny Snowdon 01:55
Oh, no. Well, I tell you what I really want to know, because we've chatted before and I really want to know more about your ukulele play and then teaching. That's what I really want to know about. Because I have spoken to quite a lot people about it. And I was like, that is this guy and he teaches ukulele and it was awesome and everything. And then who knows where that's going to take us. But I also want to know more about or I'd love to chat to you about your recent trip to the states if we can, because it is something that I did want to do and I was planning to do. I was trying to book flights for August. How difficult is it to get a flight from Manchester direct to Phoenix and then back again. It's difficult.
Matt Parkin 02:47
Well, you might have to adapt your plan slightly and not go direct or you can have direct or nothing.
Bonny Snowdon 02:55
Oh, no, not direct or nothing. But I'm not quite light because it's that long period of time, isn't it? You leave home. I just want to get to where I'm going.
Matt Parkin 03:06
I did. Basically I went to America for three days and I got a jet lag there and I've got jet lag on the way back and it's two weeks in what I felt. I left Gibraltar on the Tuesday. I got to London, stopped over and got a flight to Phoenix direct the next day, and promptly had three hours sleep a night, the entire time I was there. The night I arrived, I woke up at two o'clock. I was ironing shirts. I don't iron shirts.
Bonny Snowdon 03:43
We're trying to make an impression.
Matt Parkin 03:46
Right, I'm awake, let's do something practical. The whole thing about jetlag is you end up being awake when nobody else is and you end up doing things that have absolutely no bearing on your life whatsoever. Like IMA. Unbelievable. Yeah, it was brilliant. You know what it was like Bonny. I mean, just to say you probably have done this in the intro, but we both do online stuff for people that involve being creative and making people happy.
Bonny Snowdon 04:20
Yes, exactly. That's exactly it.
Matt Parkin 04:23
So basically, I was in a room at a hotel in Phoenix, Arizona, with 100 other people that do stuff online and get it and it was just really nice. Because every single conversation you didn't have to go through the, I don't know about you, Bonny. But whenever I tell somebody that I teach people the ukulele online, the immediate response is, "Really" And then straight after that is, "Does it earn any money?" You have to go, "It does, it's okay. I survive, I can eat thing things." All that sort of level of conversation was out of the way. And we're just straight into like the nitty gritty, I got loads of great ideas, I met a load of good people. And it was just really, really nice. Go in August. You'll love it.
Bonny Snowdon 05:15
Yeah, I was looking at flights. So I'm heading over in October as well. I was just like, why can I fly direct there, but I can't on the way back.
Matt Parkin 05:28
I found exactly the same thing. Yeah.
Bonny Snowdon 05:30
It's really weird. But anyway, I might have another look because it's out of my comfort zone. My comfort zone is sitting here in my studio. And it's not getting out and about and whatever. And it's time that I start to creep out of my comfort zone a little bit. And I have got some exciting plans for stuff that I want to do. But particularly like you were saying, meeting up with people, because I'm really passionate about my art, and I love it. But I'm also incredibly passionate about being an entrepreneur, having my business and creating my business. That is something I'm really proud of.
Matt Parkin 06:14
And rightly so.
Bonny Snowdon 06:15
Yeah. And actually meeting other people who feel the same. You know, what it's like. When you're in a crowd of people who are all really happy, and really excited about serving other people and doing stuff for other people and helping other people to sort of grow in whatever they want. It's the most amazing place to be.
Matt Parkin 06:39
Yeah, that sums it up. It was just a room full of people that got it. They're all doing it for the right reasons. And the people that are bought in by James or attracted by James Wedmore. I mean, one of the great things about it, it was 70% or 80%. Women, right? And all the guys that were there, I talked with them all individually, pretty much. We've all got 70% to 80% women within our communities. So there is great sort of feminine energy, there's no kind of like, matcho stuff that we try to avoid our entire lives. And it was just wonderful. It was just a lovely vibe. It was just connected with people that want to help people. And I think it's quite interesting what you said, the jaw lines of, Yes. It's like me, I'm passionate about music. I'm also passionate about business, and passionate about bringing what I do to other people as I know you are. Is that duality, those two prongs? And also as an artist, I mean, you might have found this, I don't know. But as an artist, we were just meant to do it for love. And the headspace of going through that. And like, is it right for me to earn money doing something I love?
Bonny Snowdon 08:07
Yeah, and that is, you get that in your own headspace. But you also get it from people who almost don't think you should be. Which is weird. Because if you going to survive, and you're going to make a living, you've got to do something. So why not do something that you absolutely, truly love doing? And yes, I still do loads of stuff for free. I'm always doing stuff for free. Somebody either pays for it, or they get it for free. And I'm really happy with that. And the free stuff and the stuff that I do for charity helps me with my mind set. Because the same with you with your music and everything is, we haven't got a product. We haven't got something that we are taking off the shelf and physically giving to somebody. We are giving ourselves and that's what the art is all about, isn't it? And that then makes it really difficult for us then to put a price on that.
Matt Parkin 09:19
Yeah. How would you put a price on 40 plus years of experience? You know, how do you do that? I mean, when I'm doing a live session with my community. I've been doing this kind of stuff since my early teens and getting paid for it. I mean, it's just stuff. How do you put a price on it? How do you talk that up?
Bonny Snowdon 09:46
Yeah, it's really hard. And then but being within a community like James’, where people are, they do have the memberships and all of that kind of stuff. That then gives you a really good idea and people can help you with, oh, well, this is what we charge or that's what they charge. Because otherwise you have no idea.
Matt Parkin 10:13
Picking figures of a lot. Yeah, it is. It's the whole community thing. I've always had a community of musicians and people I've created with, but it's been so nice to find a community of entrepreneurs that are passionate about sharing their learning. And yeah, just the access to knowledge. I was sat there talking to this Bloke Keith, who him and his wife, Anna, run this company called, Make More Music. And they basically teach people how to make electronic dance music. And he's got a huge membership, massive membership. He is in James's mastermind. And I don't know what they're turning over, but it's multiple, seven figures. And it's on a product by month, I think their membership is about 50 quid a month or something. Yeah, not massively expensive. But I sat down, had a chat with him over breakfast, and came away with two or three really great ideas, because he's just a stage on from me. And conversely, as well, those people that weren't as far as me, that were sitting down with, and we were sharing ideas, and I could see that they were benefiting from what I've been through.
Bonny Snowdon 11:36
Yeah, I love that. And I also love that we give, we get back from others, they sort of help us with different things, and then we share that. So it's this whole knowledge sharing thing which is amazing. And that's always what I've aim to do in the art world. And I have to say, I would say the majority of artists that I've come across are very similar in the fact that they love to, they don't want to keep anything back. I don't tend to find that in the art world, I think I think people are very generous with their knowledge sharing, it's too early in the morning. Which is wonderful. It's amazing.
Matt Parkin 12:18
I mean, I don't know about you how you find it with the art stuff. But with the kind of music of the basic physicality of playing an instrument over, for example, bass guitar, which is my main instrument, I sat down with a friend who has a bit of knowledge about playing bass guitars. He is a bit older than me, he started quite late, he's really into it. I sat down with him on Friday night, and within about 20 minutes, I had told him all of the basic physical things you need to think about while playing the bass guitar. Same with the ukulele, I could teach somebody how to play the ukulele in half hour. But then it's guiding people through the process of their own self exploration, so they can get better at doing it. I can't get better at doing it for them. But the actual basic bits of knowledge that you give at the start, there's not a lot to it really.
Bonny Snowdon 13:17
Yeah. I'll give anything anybody wants to know about the drawing. I mean, anything anybody wants to know about running a business, I'm just like, and you can have it all. I mean, if I could give them even more information, for me, it would be how it feels, how my arm feels when I'm holding a pencil and what the pencil feels like on the paper. That's like the stuff that people have to find out for themselves. Because you can't teach that. Because you try, but it's really difficult. Because it's a feeling, it's a whole thing that just happens. I've got a very light touch. So I use very light pressure. Some people are far more, they've got a different kind of pressure. They prefer to be a little bit heavier. And it's that, that you can teach all of the techniques, Do this, do that, use this colour, use that colour, put this together, do that, do that. But it's the actual feeling of it. It's that whole, whatever it is. It's that personal touch that every single different person does differently.
Matt Parkin 14:38
That's absolutely totally unique to them. And yet, you're completely right. It's exactly the same. While you're talking there one of the things that came to me was the similarity between what we do. We both use a tool to do a job. Yours is a pencil, mine is an instrument. You can show somebody how to use that tool. You can say, hold it like this, do it like that whatever. But as an artist, you're completely right, its expression you push through that tool that makes it yours and makes it special. That means that you will produce the unique art or the unique music or the connections with other people that that will bring. And it's so important to get people I reckon quickly to the stage where they can do that as possible. I've got a lovely message from one of my community the other day from Sabina. She's been playing in a kind of ukulele group for a couple of years now. But she went along to a jam night. And the format was, everybody took it in turns to play a song and then the other people joined in there. It wasn't just ukulele players. It was a couple of people on guitars and drums and somebody on a pipe or whatever. But she said it got to her and she was like, I can't do this. And they basically forced her to play a song. And then she just said the feeling of having these other musicians just joining with her and play with something that she presented and done. It just took it to a whole another level emotionally. And she found the connections. And I can't teach that. All I could do is show the way.
Bonny Snowdon 16:22
Yeah. And I'm sure you get the same thing. You know, when you hear one of your students playing, and then they go, "Oh, you know, yeah, but Matt, taught me blah, blah, blah" You're like, "Yeah, but I kind of showed you how to do this." But you're the one that's put the work in, you're the one that's making this amazing sound. And that's the same with me with the people who I teach to draw. People talk about, there's no such thing as talent. I don't know what you think about this, but people talk about there's no such thing as talent, and it’s all practice and blah, blah, blah. I personally think that some people have got a little spark of something incredibly magical. And if they pick up the thing that they were meant to do, they can create the most amazing stuff. Obviously, you have to have the practice and everything like that to bring it out. But you'll find musicians that are virtuosos, you'll find people who sing have just got that extra something. Yeah, you've got to put all of the stuff in, and a lot of it may be passion, might be that you're so passionate about it. I'm not saying I'm one of those people, but I have a thing about colour. I can see colour. I can see colour in my head. I can mix colours in my head. And I'm not saying that I'm a genius or anything like that, but that's what I'm good at.
Matt Parkin 17:58
And we've all seen the evidence, Bonny, you're pretty damn good at it. Okay, right, going back to talent. Yes, some people have a spark, I firmly believe from a musical point of view that everybody can improve. Everybody has the opportunity and ability to use music for their personal growth, their artistic growth, for their enjoyment and for just the soul food that it gives you. Everybody can get something out of music. I've not found anybody that is completely tone death. It's like a muscle it can be exercised. But there are some people you hand an instrument to and the Pixies fly out of it. There's that indefinable, inexplicable difference that some people have. Yeah, I was watching a video yesterday on Facebook and a mate of mine came up, he is a bloke called Rob. He plays sax with Steve Hackett. And I went to school with Rob, he was in my first band. We were awful. But he's very, very, very talented. And he's just one of these people. He could pick up any instrument and it would just explode with life.
I mean, I'm pretty a good musician. I've learned and earned a living out of it. He's a different level. And it's just wonderful when you see these people. Especially if they haven't accessed or been aligned with whatever gifts they were meant to have, until they're kind of older and been through a whole load of different stuff. And I see these people in their 50s just going, "Wow, I can do this." And some of them really explode. I don't count myself as a ukulele player, I learned the ukulele specifically to teach people how to access music, I play about six other instruments better. And for me, that doesn't matter, the ukulele is about getting people playing, getting people doing stuff, I have a lot of people that move on to other instruments or find their other way. But there's some people that have come through to me that are much better than me now as ukulele players. Fantastic, brilliant.
They really identify with the instrument and really, really, really explode into it. That's brilliant. I don't. I just use it as a tool to facilitate their learning. And I think that's what you were saying about divorcing yourself from almost the ego fuel of, I taught this person. Because I don't see it, I kind of, I open the door, kick them through it and I show them the possibilities. I've been going through a lot of impostor syndrome recently, because of this. This kind of idea that, yeah, how can I be teaching ukulele? And I've taught about two and a half thousand People now it's all kind of embryonic. But it's a sizable number, but how can I teach people the ukulele if I'm not really a ukulele player? Oh, no shock, horror, what can happen? I think I basically realized I've just changed the way I'm thinking about it. I just facilitate people learning music. I've always played loads of different instruments, and I get loads and loads of enjoyment out of playing music, I'm playing music every weekend, during the week, I'm always doing something with music, I'm always involved in something, recording something, writing something, doing something, and helping somebody. And I'm starting to kind of see much more now, as I sort of talk to my community. That what they like in me is this passion. It is not the ukulele playing. I mean, they've actually admitted that they knew almost from day one that I wasn't necessarily the best ukulele player in the world, but they just got it's my enthusiasm for music.
Bonny Snowdon 22:20
Yeah, that is so important. So, I'm not a massive believer in imposter syndrome. I believe it's just a human trait. I believe it's just part of being human that we have these. Exactly. Yeah, our internet. I'm not saying it doesn't exist or anything. But that's how I see it. My worry is when we say that we have something, we put a label on ourselves, and we then almost become more of that thing. But when you have these thoughts, what do you do? How do you stop them? Is it something that kind of paralyzes you? Do you have to have a bit of a word with yourself? But mind set is a really big part of what I do in my community. I'm trying to help people understand that what their internal voice is saying, can really affect how they progress with what they're doing? And it can it can have a massive effect on how they live their lives. So how do you get around when your internal voice is telling you that you shouldn't be doing this because you're not the best player blah, blah, blah, what sorts of strategies to put in place to be able to get through it?
Matt Parkin 23:41
I'm going to rewind slightly and comment on what you were saying. And then I'm going to answer that. Human trait, yeah, I think everybody has the little voices that go on. I for years, I didn't realize it until over the past 10 years, I completely retrained as a teacher. And I've done a lot of looking at myself a lot of thinking about self, and a lot of internal work. And I found that I've got a history of mental illness in my family, my mother's side of the family. I think, the first person in four generations a male on my mother's side of the family that hasn't been sectioned. And the obvious response to that is, there's still time Matthew. But I think having kind of like, studied my family history, looked at myself, I think a lot of it is, it kind of always occurred in late teens. And it was when somebody was basically put into a box that they couldn't fit into. And I don't think this is uncommon. I think it's something that goes on a lot, but I was allowed to be a musician. I was allowed to kind of follow what I was doing. And although I kind of felt the poll, on a fuse, I can remember specific occasions. I mean walking around Leeds one day when I was 19. And I could feel myself losing it then I didn't. But I think I've always used playing the bass guitar as meditation. It's really simple, and repetitive. And obviously consciously. I didn't sit down and say right, I'm going to learn the bass guitar specifically so I can keep my monkey brain under control. But it's been a nice kind of by-product. I learned the bass guitar because I was desperate to be a rock star, obviously. But the whole thing about those physical kind of repetitive, creative processes, they just calm your brain. I trained as a cabinet maker at one point. And it's the same thing. If you're playing a piece of wood with a hand plane, you have to be quite precise, but it's not actually that difficult. It's actually quite a simple physical movement. And its voices. It means you stay on the surfboard. And uncertain, you must get that with using a pencil.
Bonny Snowdon 26:15
Oh, well, that's exactly why I ended up drawing. That's why I picked up pencils and colouring books in 2016. Because I needed something to forget, unhappy marriage and stressful job. I needed something to be able to just disappear. And I'd heard about oh, colour pencils, you know, colouring books, really meditative. Really mindful. And I was like, well I will give that a go. Honestly, I disappear. And this is why I do a lot of teaching and I do a lot of tutorials. My tutorials take a long time. And I have to have something in between. And anytime I think I really need to do something for me or I need to draw without having to discuss or teach, I have to listen to that. Because that's what keeps me enjoying what I do. And literally, I don't know where I go. But I go somewhere and I disappear. And I can just come back again. And that is what for me is so special about creativity. And like you said, you get it in music, you get it in singing, you get it in dancing, and you get it in anything that's creative. You get that gorgeous flow, and it's amazing.
Matt Parkin 27:31
Making things makes you happy. It doesn't matter whether that's a piece of movement, a picture, a song, a table, it doesn't matter. Making something with your hands that comes from you. It's cooking, cooking too. I mean, I love cooking. I think again, I just zoned out. It doesn't matter. And just that process, doing things like gardening. I have got a lovely crop of courgettes coming out at the moment. Boy, oh boy. Yes, very happy with my courgette patch.
Bonny Snowdon 28:09
Have you got quite a big garden or a little garden?
Matt Parkin 28:11
No, at the moment, I've got a tiny little backyard. Basically I live in between Gibraltar and Spain, a little place in Spain. And I'm in Gibraltar because I have to be at the moment. I'll probably be moving out relatively soon. I'm happier in Spain, it's just more open, there's more light and air for me which I need. And I'm living in a little coastal town in investing what was somebody's granny annex. And I've got a tiny little triangular courtyard and it was completely empty when I got in there. I think there was one succulent in a small pot on the side. And it is now just full of plants. And I keep getting potential plant containers from the bins because I like a bit of recycling too. And I've got to be days that I've got a nice little collection of herbs in. I've got some big kind of planters that I've got as well. But I've got potatoes I mean it's a tiny little area, but I would say within about four meters. Three to four meters square. I've got loads of plot. I mean, I'm not self-sufficient by any means, but I love it. I get so much joy out of it. I used to have a really big veg garden, loads of fruit trees, I'll have that again. And loads of chickens. I love keeping chickens as well. And again, it's the process thing. It's the seeing nature just move forward. And knowing that in a couple of months’ time there'll be apricots on that tree and seeing that and I love that that gives me such peace of mind.
Bonny Snowdon 29:53
Yeah, amazing. And you've got cats as well, don't you?
Matt Parkin 29:56
I've got two cats. They're still alive. I've got one dog and she's still alive as well. Actually at the moment Molly the dog is staying in doggy day-care five nights a week which is coming to Gibraltar it's just it's not fair, she hates it. I'm in a little one bedroom flat in Gibraltar and it's not doable. So she's off up in the hills running around with lots of little dogs and she's quite happy but the cats are nice and the cats are again meditative. I like having the cats but they're very demanding of my attention at the moment because I'm not there a lot on cuddles when I'm trying to work which is good.
Bonny Snowdon 30:42
It's funny we lost our cat. I had a Ragdoll Cat. We had her for quite a long time 15, 16 years and we lost a couple of weeks ago. What was lovely about it was that she was poorly but we planned her departure. And we said goodbye to her at home which was really nice. And I just love my animals. I love my four dogs and we have Peggy who lived on the kitchen table and she was an amazing cat. She just sort of was just there. Anyway, I was looking at kittens, not to replace Peggy in any way. It's because I just love to have animals around me. I was looking kittens and I went to see these kittens and they were gorgeous. They attacked my hands, I've got clear marks anyway. And she was like, oh, actually she was a breeder and she was like, we've got one that's actually coming back. She's six months old. This guy took her in January, but he's now got a new job. And he's working away from home and he just doesn't think it's very fair for the cat. Because she's a house cat. She's a Maine Coon. Anyway, show me some pictures, like maybe a slightly older cat would be better than a kitten with the dogs and everything. Anyway, so she arrived last week. And she hid for a couple of days. Wow, she is just amazing. Honestly, I'm losing like hours just by playing with my thing on a stick. You know, Peggy was never like that. She just was sort of satin and was very quiet. This one's like, flying off stuff, pinging there, being in there. All of a sudden, you get around your shoulders, and she's like, on the top of your head like oh my god, to rolling around and makes like funny little chattery noises when she's watching the birds. And it's like she's a proper cat. She got in the washing machine this morning. She's just like a proper cat. But she's just gorgeous. Very, very different. Like a different animal, a different breed. She's lovely. And then she's getting on with the dogs, which is great.
Matt Parkin 33:03
Which is brilliant. Basically, when I split up from my long term partner, my mother and my children. I don't know how it happened. But I did end up with all the animals. Which is good and bad. I mean, the cats are kind of, I've always been a cat person. But I ended up with Molly, who we ended up with by default because she adopted my youngest son. We just had to have her. But she's like a smelly old rug. And it's just she's lovely and stuff, but it's not. But I've ended up in this tiny flat with all these animals. And it's just, I'm not certain whether I'm cut out for animal management long term. I don't know. I will review when I move into somewhere slightly larger.
Bonny Snowdon 34:02
I mean, I'm in the UK. The house I'm in now I've been in for 18 years nearly. And animals have always been a huge part of my life. I would say that I'm probably the happiest when I'm with animals. I mean, I like being alone. You know, I love having a good conversation, everything but if I just want to disappear, it will be, I'll sit and watch a film with all of the dogs on my knee. And then all like 40 kilograms. These dogs are massive. I say was brought up on a farm, it wasn't really a farm it was a small holding. But I was just always with the animals. I always loved animals. And it's really important to me to have them and my children love them as well. We're always talking to them and sing to them songs and all that kind of stuff. Have special names for them. But yeah, I love my animals. I love for them. I love loads.
Matt Parkin 35:04
I moan about Molly. I mean, basically, she was a feral dog that ended up having two litters of puppies on my land in Spain. And first litter, we kind of managed to rehome all the dogs but didn't manage to get a hold of her second litter. Basically, my youngest just crawled in the den and got adopted. And that was it. And he's well into animals. He's 16 now. He's back to his work experience at the local zoo.
Bonny Snowdon 35:39
Amazing.
Matt Parkin 35:40
He just loves animals.
Bonny Snowdon 35:42
Is he on the UK? Or is he?
Matt Parkin 35:44
No, he's here, he lives with me. My middle one is in London with my ex, and my eldest is at Durham doing physics. But he tries to tell me about what he's doing in his exams and stuff. And I don't even bother to feign interest anymore. I don't understand that. He knows I don't understand it. I'm not interested enough to try and understand it. So we talk about bass guitars instead. Because he's a really good musician. And he's playing and so we bond on that. But my youngest is with me, which is great. We get on. His mom comes over on a pretty regular basis. And he gets a lot of time with her. But he didn't want to move to UK. I mean, I would prefer to be where I am. I like this part of the world. I've lived here for 20 years, the UK doesn't feel like home to me anymore. It's really weird. I go back to the UK and it is so familiar. Yet so alien at the same time. It's really weird. And I don't hate it. There's bits of the UK I completely love. I got loads of family, and loads of friends there. But it feels very, very strange being there now. And whereas, I'm here it just feels like, home, I suppose. I mean, I spent most of my adult life here.
Bonny Snowdon 37:07
Yeah, it's really nice. That's nice that you've got your son with you. Because they are very impressionable at that age. When I split up with my husband in 2017, my youngest was 13. And that was a big thing for him. Because you're used to seeing your parents every single day, and then all of a sudden, seeing him for like, an hour, three times a week. And it's sad. And I think with boys as well, all three of my mom's I've got two boys and a girl. But I'm really lucky that I've got a family who have got some really strong sort of males my sister's husband, he's such a good role model. He's such a good role model because of course, the dad's not here anymore. And now that's amazing if you can have a really amazing role model for your children, particularly if they're not going to. I think the boys it is really important to have that male role model or when families split up to have a really constant relationship with their dad.
Matt Parkin 38:33
I think it's really important to have strong male and strong female role models around. I mean, a slightly different exactly the same thing. My nephew, basically my ex's brother died from COVID year and a half ago. So basically, not last Christmas, but the Christmas before. And I mean, it was just obviously a huge thing. I've been split up from Amanda for about a year by then. But it was a huge impact on everybody. I mean, he lived in Spain as well. And I got the phone call to kind of, I ended up going and sorting out all the birth, death certificates and all that sort of stuff and getting very involved because he's Amanda's brother. But he's got a son, who is 10 now, who I kind of known obviously, since he was born and he was born on my birthday. So I've always had a special bond with him and when I first picked him up as a baby, he smelt like one of mine. I can't describe it as anything else. Yeah, all babies have a smell but this one was my pack. It was very animalistic. It was like, "Okay, you're one of mine." And basically he doesn't have a dad now. He's got two mums and separate households, though they're both very, very keen for him to spend time with me. And I'm very keen for him to spend time with me. And we do things like play with pin knives. He came off on a Duke of Edinburgh walk with me last weekend, because my youngest is doing that at the moment. And he just comes along around with a pack and he's part of it. But yeah, that male role model thing. I'm, I'm so lucky to have it as well. And I really value. I think one of the things about splitting and also my middle son being in the UK. I really miss them. But I'm slightly strange. There's a lot of going on into now with that. Not that I wouldn't talk about it, but it's all and stuff. But it really makes me value the connection that I have with the next generation of my family as well. It's really important just to have that, I think both for the adults and for the kids. It keeps us connected.
Bonny Snowdon 41:07
Yeah, I know. And that's what I'm really you grateful to have family around so that they can see and be with somebody who really cares a huge amount for them. It's brilliant. It's really good. And they get on so well. It's so funny. They're very much the comedian's my two boys. Always joking around and whatever. Little rats they are. No, they are good. So, yeah, gosh, it's amazing, isn't it? We started with ukuleles and now we're talking about male role models. So talk to me about your membership, then. Because I know you were working on it, changing bits on it. Is it open, have you got it?
Matt Parkin 42:05
So what we're doing right now, but basically, the membership, there's two different sides to what I do, that are very much connected. And it's all evolving constantly. As I know, you understand and know, most exciting thing about our membership is it's been going two years now. We've got our first live event in July, which is brilliant. I've hired a pub in Birmingham. The membership, I think we've got about 80 people in the membership. And I think we're going to have about half of them there. And it's just going to be wonderful to meet these people that I've been involved with for like two to three years now. And over the past kind of year, to year and a half, the membership hasn't really grown much, because I've had other things going on. I'm dealing with the separation, personal stuff, I just needed to sort out. But it's kept going. And the enthusiasm is there. And it's just wonderful to see these people growing as musicians, and connecting and having fun and enjoying it. And we get together and we have a couple of live sessions a month, we learn a few songs, we kind of support each other, it's really lovely. But basically what I'm doing for the first time since Christmas is I've got one of my workshops coming up, where I teach somebody that has never, I teach anybody that turns up, I teach them how to play a song on the ukulele in three hours. Basically, we take three hours over it, because we make sure that the techniques are good, and they learn the process of how to learn a song, because the bottom line is, learning an instrument is all about process. It's all about just following the instructions. And you end up with the result at the other end, which is being able to play a song to your friends and your family or for yourself. And just going well I can do this. So basically, we're doing that and then that leads into our sort of six week program where we get people from absolute beginner to being the other side. That bit of the learning curve where you're really pants and you know it.
Bonny Snowdon 44:37
Conscious incompetence.
Matt Parkin 44:40
We know exactly how crap you are. We get people through that. I mean, that's the size that most people filter out when they're learning an instrument or anything really. And usually it's people that have maybe tried YouTube videos but don't really know where to go next or people who have been told they will never be a musician or can't do it because of this, that or the other, or people have always wanted to play, but never had the opportunity or the time or been told they weren't musical. Everybody's musical. Some people are geniuses, as discussed earlier on, but everybody's musical everybody can enjoy it.
Bonny Snowdon 45:21
Yeah. You said you get people who say, "Oh, God, I couldn't." With artists it's like, oh, I couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler. With musicians is it just I couldn't hit the right note, even if it I don't know.
Matt Parkin 45:36
Even if it came out came out of the wilderness and slapped me. The arm tone deaf contacted our common singing tune. I t doesn't matter. You're playing ukulele, follow the instructions, and get the results. I mean, people are worried that they can't. How will I learn how to tune the ukulele? There's a little machine, you get an app on your phone for tuning things now. All you need, basically, you can tune an instrument, a stringed instrument, if you've got an app on your phone, and you know your alphabet up to G and you know how to use stairs. If you can use stairs, you're fine. It's basic knowledge that you're looking.
Bonny Snowdon 46:17
I'm thinking. I used to play the piano. I used to sing, but what's the stairs?
Matt Parkin 46:25
But basically, it's the idea that you can move up and down the stairs. And that's it. And once you know, for example, tuning an instrument, if you know it's going to be a G, and you know where you are usually a little bit more to take you from that point to the next point. It's all simple stuff. I think I might have got confusing there though.
Bonny Snowdon 46:48
No, that sounds good. But that's lovely, isn't it? You can create something that sounds amazing and incredibly technical but follow some simple steps. And off you go.
Matt Parkin 47:01
Yeah, exactly. The basic the first steps are just saying and it's probably the same. One thing I find myself doing a lot of the time is teaching people that are just starting off the same self-correction processes that I use now. And every other musician I know uses. What was that thing? Oh gosh, that there's a wonderful TED talk about learning stuff. And because it you need to learn some basic technique, you need to learn how to self-correct and you need about 20 hours. And you can basically get through the awful bit of conscious incompetence that we've talked about. It really is self-correction. So important you find that out as well, that kind of like knowing what you're doing wrong. Actually I watched one of your videos and you said you kind of any mistakes you make just get incorporated.
Bonny Snowdon 48:03
That again, is very much dependent on the kind of person you are. People go, oh my goodness, you know, your works perfect. I am so not a perfectionist. And all the way through school, in my reports, there was the word slapdash. Bonny, is slapdash, she is she paid more attention to detail, blah, blah, blah. And I make do, I am lazy, I will walk past stuff on the floor. But when it comes to my art, I'm not looking for perfection. I'm looking to enjoy the process completely. I might have a vision for my end product. And when I get there, and I'm like the piece that I've just done, I'm incredible.
Matt Parkin 48:51
The horses
Bonny Snowdon 48:52
Or horses, I have credit. But the bit that I enjoyed the most wasn't looking at the end product, the bit that I enjoyed the most was the process of creating them. That is what I absolutely love. So whether it's amazing at the end, or whether it's, I don't know, maybe it's not quite as good as I thought it was going to be or whatever. The big bit for me is the actual bit in the middle where I'm creating. That is what brings me total and utter joy.
Matt Parkin 49:20
That's certainly what has taken me years to get to that stage. Having come from a school report background, I think my favourite quote from my school reports, driving his Rolls Royce, is like an old Ford, which I think is probably relatively similar to your slapdash bit. But yeah, I spent years. Actually it's one of the things I put to bed in Phoenix. There was a wonderful kind of meditation that we did on the second day, where we were kind of encouraged to go back into our past meet our past self and just have a chat. I forgave my 34 year old self for viewing himself as a failure. Because I spent years viewing myself as a failure because I didn't become a rock star. For fuck sake, how stupid was that? I was focused on the end result, rather than enjoying the process. And the thing is, I mean, I've done more of that sort of stuff than most people ever dream off. But because I hadn't got to the cherry on the top of the cake. I viewed the cake as being substandard. And it's taken me years to get to the stage. I've always enjoyed the process, the process has always calmed my mind. But I've always as well fixated on the result, it has to be successful. And I'm so pleased I've let that go now, because it gets in the way.
Bonny Snowdon 51:06
Yeah, it's debilitating, isn't it? I mean, I'm kind of sort of reflecting now and thinking, and this is something that I say to all of my students, every single piece that I've done, I feel incredibly proud of. I look back on the ones that I did when I was first starting drawing, and they weren't overly good, because I was just starting out. But I can remember the immense sense of pride from doing them. And again, it's the process, it's that being able to just take yourself out of whatever environment you're in, and go somewhere else. And that is what has kept me going. I'll look at a picture. And I think all that I'll make a nice drawing when I kind of visualize it in my head and everything, and I'm not rushing to get through it so that I get to the endpoint and goodness, well, look what I've done. You know, the process is the thing. That's the cherry on the top of the cake. It's the process.
Matt Parkin 52:10
Yeah. And now I know that.
Bonny Snowdon 52:16
It's that mind-set, though, isn't it?
Matt Parkin 52:18
Actually the whole thing. And I mean, I see this more in students as well, it's seeing that change in mind-set from, I can't do this, because I'll never be as good as so and so. Being as good as so and so doesn't matter, because it's just the process. And it's just in enjoying that. We're coming up to the end of the reasonable amount of time you ever want spend on a podcast, right?
Bonny Snowdon 52:47
Yeah.
Matt Parkin 52:51
I mean, there are so many points in my life. Yeah, the signs. I mean, though I say so much stuff, I really kind of like little stories about staff, you know. But where my kind of inability to have put myself into that positive mind-set is what has kept me back. It was that focusing on the Cherry rather than enjoying the process that probably stopped me being the rock star that I possibly could have been. But you know, I'm happy where I am. And that is fine. And it's part of my journey to get here. As been, however many years of not necessarily feeling comfortable with myself, and now feeling great. So it's the mind-set, process and mind-set.
Bonny Snowdon 53:49
Yeah. It is. And if you're happy, you don't care what other people are doing. And you don't care other people's opinions or anything like that. If you're just happy doing what you're doing, and you can be happy for other people life is really nice.
Matt Parkin 54:08
Yeah. And you know what? Life being really nice is good enough. On many many levels.
Bonny Snowdon 54:17
Because haven't got all of that rubbish fluttering around. Well, it's been a joy chatting, and I'm going to have another look at flights for Phoenix in August.
Matt Parkin 54:35
Again, the Phoenix thing was about money mind-set and kind of getting yourself. I'm kind of looking at it going, well, maybe I shouldn't book the flights until I've seen how the launch goes. And part of me is just thinking, well, that's okay. That's sensible. But is it the best thing? I mean, I've got so much out of going to Phoenix. I might just book it and do it and worry about. The universe will look after me, it always has done so far.
Bonny Snowdon 55:02
It'll be fine. Everything will work out fine.
Matt Parkin 55:06
So yeah, okay, well, we'll do that then. And yeah, you'd love it as you came up in a couple of conversations. Look at the billboards as well, it's fantastic you looked fantastic.
Bonny Snowdon 55:27
It's a nice community. It's a really nice community. And I've got a huge amount of respect for James. I think he's the most amazing, man.
Matt Parkin 55:35
Yeah, nice guy. Yeah, it was good to meet him. Yeah.
Bonny Snowdon 55:39
Yeah. Amazing. Awesome. Well, I'll let you get back to your tea and whatever you're doing and your potatoes and your courgettes. I've got to go look at photos now. I'm going to look at photographs, we're having a bit of a rejig of my websites, we're having to choose which photos we're going to be using. So that's what I'm doing now.
Bonny Snowdon 55:43
Well, that's okay. Well, do that. I'd love to catch up for another chat at some point soon.
Bonny Snowdon 56:07
Yeah, really, it'd be really nice. So I'm going to have a look at flights because it would be nice to come out and meet everybody. And I think it will be very good for me as well.
Matt Parkin 56:21
I think so. But if you've got time I'd love to have a chat with you. In a couple of weeks, I'm going through some changes with what I'm doing.
Bonny Snowdon 56:35
Right? Anytime, honestly, if I can help or if you want to put something past me.
Matt Parkin 56:35
Staying on the board, it was really useful.
Bonny Snowdon 56:46
Yeah. Anytime, anytime.
Matt Parkin 56:48
So many changes going on at the moment. It's great. I think we've moved out of the podcast area now.
Bonny Snowdon 56:54
Well, I'll probably still be in there.
Matt Parkin 57:00
Lovely to chat as always. And have fun.
Bonny Snowdon 57:04
Yes, you too. Thanks so much, Matt. Speak to you soon. Okay. Bye.
I really hope you enjoyed listening to this episode of my It's a Bonny Old Life podcast. If you did, I'd be so grateful to you for emailing me or texting a link to the show, or sharing it on social media with those who might like it too. My mission with this podcast is all about sharing mine and my communities experience and hope by telling your fascinating personal stories, championing the other amazing humans in my personal, professional and membership community, and to create another channel through which I can support you to realize your coloured pencil and life dreams. If you haven't done so yet. Please help me on my mission to spread positivity and joy throughout the coloured pencil world by following me on my socials at Bonny Snowdon Academy, or by getting on my list at bonnysnowdonacademy.com, and remember, I truly believe if I can live the life of my dreams doing what I love, then you can too. We just need to keep championing and supporting each other along the way in order to make it happen. Till next time.
